Something to come back to
by brendylan
Summary: Brenda & Dylan reconcile before she leaves for London but the reconciliation is short-lived when Dylan's reaction to Kelly & Brandon's relationship changes everything.  Will he be able to convince Brenda his feelings are real or will he lose her forever?
1. Chapter 1 Together Again

Chapter 1: Together Again

Brenda watches Dylan closely knowing his reaction could break her heart all over again. "Dylan, I love you. I've never stopped loving you and I know now I never will."

"I'll applaud you from afar." Dylan says softly.

"I want more than your applause. I won't be gone forever Dylan. Give me something to come back to." Heart pounding, Brenda holds her breath.

Dylan moves closer, putting his hand on her hip, bringing her closer as his lips meet hers. They begin to kiss intensely as Dylan moves her down to the couch. Brenda unbuttons his shirt shoving it off his shoulders without breaking the kiss. He shrugs it off his arms and onto the floor before pulling away to pull her sweater over her head. They stare into each other's eyes. Suddenly, Dylan stands up and smiles softly. Without warning, he picks Brenda up and walks towards the bedroom. She smiles back at him and grabs his head, pulling his lips to hers. Dylan lays her on the bed and removes the rest of his clothes before joining her. He brushes her hair back from her face as they stare at each other almost afraid to move for fear of ruining the moment. Pulling her closer, they begin to make love for the first time in two years.

* * *

><p>Brenda sighs as Dylan runs his fingers down her bare arm. She rolls over onto her side to look at him. She gently touches his face and gives him a sweet kiss. "I wish I didn't have to go," She says softly.<p>

Dylan gives her a wicked grin. "You don't." He leans closer and buries his face in her neck. Brenda giggles. "Yes, I do. I…." Before she can finish her sentence Dylan begins to nibble on her ear and she groans. "Dylan…." She tries to begin again, but he captures her lips with his. After another lovemaking session, Brenda sits up breathing hard. Dylan props on one arm and attempts to pull her back down next to him. But Brenda laughs and pulls away. "I really, really have to go Dylan." He flops back onto the bed. "Why?" he asks. "Don't tell me Jimbo is still enforcing a curfew. You're almost 20 years old…" Brenda puts her finger on his lips to stop the beginnings of his tirade, knowing that he and her dad are not getting along and not wanting to get into it tonight. He lightly bites her finger. "No, it's not a curfew. Donna is staying over tonight." Looking at her watch, she grimaces. "I actually should have been home an hour ago."

Dylan frowns as she stands up and begins to pull her clothes on. "Why is Donna staying at your house?" Brenda looks at him and bites her lip, remembering why she and Dylan have been apart for so long. "Donna caught David with another girl tonight." Their eyes meet before Dylan quickly looks down at the comforter and begins picking at a thread.

"Is Donna okay?" he asks softly, knowing Brenda's mind went to him and Kelly the summer before senior year.

Brenda, now completely dressed, sighs as she sits back down next to him. "Not really. She is pretty devastated actually. She finally fell asleep so I left her a note in case she woke up while I was gone. I'm hoping she sleeps through the night but I don't want to take a chance that she will need me. I have to be there for her Dylan."

Dylan smiles at her softly. "I know. You're a good friend and….." He hesitates as he looks down then slowly looks back into her eyes. "You know better than anyone how she feels right now…." Then with a rather wicked grin continues, "I just wish you could stay."

Brenda leans down and touches her lips to his. "Call me tomorrow?" she says softly. Dylan nods before touching his tongue to her lips, wordlessly asking for entry and deepening the kiss for a brief moment. Brenda reluctantly ends the kiss, stands up, and walks to the door. She stops and looks back at him with a grin before walking out. Dylan flops back on the bed with a big smile on his face as he hears the front door close behind her.


	2. Chapter 2 Packing and

Chapter 2: Packing and…..

Brenda walks Donna to the front door early the next morning. "You call me if you need me okay?" she says to her friend.

Donna smiles weakly. "Thanks Bren. I'm really going to miss you."

"Donna, I'm not leaving for almost a week. I am still here for you. Just call okay." She hugs Donna one more time and watches her walk slowly down the sidewalk to her car. As she closes the door behind her Jim calls from the kitchen.

"Brenda? Can you come in here please?" Brenda hesitates. Could he somehow have figured out that she snuck out to Dylan's last night? Taking a deep breath and steeling herself for a possible blowout, she walks to the kitchen to see him and Cindy sitting at the table and a suitcase next to the back door.

"What's going on?" she frowns.

"Is Donna doing any better this morning?" Cindy asks concerned.

"Not really. It's going to take a while mom." She responds still frowning at the suitcases.

Jim notices her glance, "I have to go to Minneapolis for a last minute business meeting."

Cindy continues, "I thought I would go with your father and visit grandma. We will only be gone for two days. Will you be okay here by yourself? Do you need me to help you with your packing?"

Brenda's mind begins working overtime. If Jim, Cindy, and Brandon are all out of town no one will question where she is or who she is with. She will be able to spend more time with Dylan before leaving for London.

Grinning, she replies, "I will be fine. I can finish my packing on my own. You two go and tell grandma I said hi."

"We will be back before you have to leave for London." Jim says quickly as he gets up to hug her goodbye. Cindy follows suit and within minutes they are on their way to the airport.

Brenda heads upstairs to her room. As she walks in she grimaces seeing the half-filled trunk. "I have got to get this packing done." She says to herself.

Clothes are all over the floor and bed as Brenda tries to decide what to carry with her. She has been sorting and packing for two hours when the phone rings. "Hello."

"Hey there beautiful." Dylan says with a slow, sleepy drawl that sends chills up her spine even through the phone. "Dylan." Brenda's grin stretches from ear to ear. Deep down, she was unsure if he really would call or if he would regret the night before and a weight is lifted when she hears his voice.

"Is Donna still there?"

"No, she left a couple of hours ago."

"I woke up thinking about you." He says softly.

"I woke up thinking about you too," Brenda responds.

"Why don't you come over and we can pick up where we left off last night?" he replies huskily.

Brenda looks around her room at the mess she still has to try to get through. "I have a better idea." Dylan can hear her grin through the phone and is smiling himself, almost giddy just knowing they are connecting again just like old times. "Why don't you come over here and help me finish packing instead?"

Dylan sighs. "I don't think Jim would be too happy to see me on your front doorstep Bren."

"Then I guess it's a good thing he and mom are out of town for the next two days isn't it?" Brenda asks with a smirk.

Dylan laughs. "Reeaaally? Well, in that case, let me take care of a few things here and I will be there in about an hour."

As they hang up, Brenda looks around the room and sighs to herself. "What a mess." She grabs a stack of clothes and throws them back into the closet and hurriedly begins trying to make some sort of order out of the remainder of the clothes. After about 30 minutes, she has made some progress. Looking at her watch, she decides to jump in the shower so she is at least presentable when Dylan arrives.

* * *

><p>Dylan pulls into the driveway a bit early. He couldn't wait a minute longer to see her again. He pulls the car around back next to the garage not wanting to worry about some well-meaning friend of Jim's, or his and Brenda's for that matter, mentioning seeing his car parked there with Brandon out of town…at least not until he and Brenda can tell everyone they are seeing each other again. With a smile, he looks towards the house before jumping out of the car and walking swiftly to the kitchen door. He knocks and waits, bouncing with anticipation at seeing her. "Calm down Dylan. You act like this is your first date!" he whispers to himself, trying to calm his jittery stomach. It hasn't been that long since he was in the Walsh house, but it's been two years since he has been in it for this reason and his excitement at being able to be here with Brenda again is palpable.<p>

He knocks again and frowns, as there is still no answer. Turning he reaches under a planter for the spare key and opens the door cautiously. "Brenda?" he says as he closes the door and locks it back behind him. He glances in the dining room and into the living room and receives no answer. "What the hell?" He says softly wondering if this is some cosmic joke on Dylan McKay. He walks upstairs and into Brenda's room but sees no Brenda. Suddenly, his ears pick out the sound of the shower running. He walks to the open bathroom door and peeks in. Grinning, he sees a shadow of Brenda and quickly begins to undress.


	3. Chapter 3 Caught in the Act

Chapter 3: Caught in the act

At the airport, Brandon and Kelly are getting into her car. "Sorry, I cut the trip short Kel. I just really feel like I need to be here for Andrea."

Kelly smiles at him as she takes his hand in hers. "Brandon, I understand. It's okay. As long as we are together, it doesn't matter to me if it's here or Washington." Her smile slowly fades.

"What's wrong?" Brandon asks, although he is pretty sure he knows the answer before she says it.

"I just…" she hesitates and bites her lip. "You know we are probably going to catch a lot of grief for this Brandon."

"You mean from Dylan?" he says softly.

She nods. "I mean we just broke up a few days ago. When he finds out about us, you know he will be upset. I don't want to cause problems for you and Dylan. I know he's your best friend."

"Kel, are YOU sure about this? I will talk to Dylan and try to explain, but I have to know that you really want this."

"Of course I do. That's why I came to Washington in the first place. I guess I'm just worried about how everyone will react now that we are back."

"Are you sure it's over with Dylan?" Brandon asks hesitantly.

"Yes, Brandon. Dylan and I…it's been over for a long time, I just didn't want to admit it especially after the way we got together." She says with a grimace.

Brandon leans over to kiss her softly. "It will be fine. Come on, Jim and Cindy left this morning. We can start with telling Brenda."

Kelly pulls out of the airport parking lot and heads to Casa Walsh.

They pull into the driveway and Kelly turns off the ignition but hesitates before getting out of the car. Brandon looks at her closely. "Kel?"

"Do you think Brenda will be okay with us?"

He frowns, "Why wouldn't she be?"

Kelly sighs. "Maybe because I cheated with her boyfriend and now I'm dating her brother? I mean, Brenda and I have worked out a lot of things but it's not the same as it was before Brandon. We are friends but…." She lets the words hang.

Brandon leans over and gives her a light kiss on the lips. "I don't think Brenda will have a problem with it but even if she does, she is leaving for London in a few days so it won't matter. Okay?"

"Okay."

Brenda closes her eyes as she lets the warm water run over her then shrieks as she hears the shower curtain being pulled back. Turning her head quickly and trying unsuccessfully to cover herself, she sees Dylan stepping into the shower and smiles as she tries to calm her racing heart. Dylan grins as he pulls her back against him and plants a kiss on her shoulder.

"Hey you." He whispers into her ear. Brenda leans back against him letting him take her weight and closes her eyes as he begins to gently tug on her earlobe. Brenda groans softly, "Hey yourself."

As Dylan begins to kiss down her neck and back to her shoulder, his hands begin to roam over her wet body. Brenda turns quickly and captures his lips with hers as she wraps her arms around him pulling his body against hers. Dylan picks her up and Brenda wraps her legs around his waist. They continue to kiss and grope feverishly. Dylan turns quickly pushing Brenda up against the wall, holding her there for balance as they slowly begin to make love. They begin to move in rhythm, Brenda holding onto Dylan as her back hits the wall of the shower.

"What the hell was that?" Brandon says as he closes the front door behind him.

"Sounds like it came from upstairs." Kelly responds looking up the stairs.

The two walk upstairs and into Brandon's room where he throws his bag on the bed. Both hear the shower running and then groaning. Not immediately placing the noise they glance toward the open bathroom door with a frown. Concerned something may be wrong with Brenda they start towards the door. 

Brenda moans as Dylan increases the pace. She runs her fingers through his wet hair stopping to tug at the hair on the nape of his neck, knowing it drives him crazy.

Brenda feels the climax building to fever pitch. "Dylan!"

Dylan can't hold back any longer and lets go as he hears her scream his name. "I love you Bren." He says with a groan before plundering her mouth with his.

Suddenly, they hear a door slam close by.

Dylan and Brenda both freeze. She closes her eyes and swears softly. Dylan touches his forehead to hers, still trying to catch his breath.

Brenda disengages herself from Dylan and turns off the shower. Grabing a towel for herself, she then throws one to Dylan. "I'll go down. Why don't you wait up here for a few minutes? Maybe you can sneak out the back while I keep dad's attention on me. He will be so busy yelling it shouldn't be a problem."

Dylan grabs her by the arm and turns her to face him. "No. We will talk to him together Bren. I am not going to let Jim or anyone else come between us this time. We need to present a united front, stand up to him TOGETHER, or it's not going to work." They stare into each other's eyes for a minute before slowly touching lips for a sweet kiss. Brenda smiles, "Okay." She takes a deep breath, "Let's do it." Dylan grabs his clothes off the floor and begins to get dressed while Brenda goes to her closet for clothes.


	4. Chapter 4 It all falls apart

**_All I will say is, strap in kids the ride is about to get bumpy. LOL I will apologize now because if you are looking for happy, sunshiney times between Brenda and Dylan, you may not like where I am going. Just try to bear with me. It will get better…..eventually. Oh and just so you know, BK fans probably won't be too happy either, although I wont be spending alot of time on them regardless unless I change my mind. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed. I hope you will continue to read. :) _**

Chapter 4: It all falls apart

Brenda takes a deep breath as she and Dylan start down the stairs. "It will be okay Bren." Dylan says softly squeezing her hand. She smiles at him and squeezes back, heart pounding. She can't respond over the lump in her throat.

As they reach the bottom of the stairs they hear murmuring in the kitchen and start in that direction.

* * *

><p>Brandon stands opposite Kelly, who is visibly upset as she tries to grasp what she so obviously heard upstairs. "Kelly, why are you so upset…." Before he can finish, he hears footsteps and turns to the doorway.<p>

* * *

><p>Dylan braces himself as he and Brenda walk through to the kitchen, knowing his precarious relationship with Jim probably just got much worse. As he reaches the doorway, he sees only Brandon and Kelly. He stops and looks confusedly at Brenda.<p>

Brenda is surprised but immediately relieved as well. "Oh my gosh, Brandon!" She puts her hand to her heart and breathes out a sigh of relief. "I thought it was dad! You have no idea how happy I am it's you." She begins to laugh at herself until she realizes Dylan and Kelly are staring at each other and no one else seems to be as relieved.

Kelly glares at Dylan. "You just couldn't wait could you? I wouldn't put up with your garbage so you run straight to Brenda! Why am I not surprised? After all those times you told me it was over, that you were just friends. What a joke!" she hisses.

"Excuse me?" Dylan responds bitterly. "Let's talk about exactly what you are doing here Kel? And don't think I can't see your overnight bag with the airline ticket sitting there with your name on it. You come in here yelling at me about Brenda when you have been with Brandon? Or are you going to deny that?"

"No, I'm not going to deny it! I WAS with Brandon in Washington all day AND night…and I loved every minute of it." She says making sure Dylan knows exactly what went on in Washington.

Dylan smirks at her but before he can say anything else Brandon speaks up. "Kelly being in Washington has nothing to do with what is going on here." He looks back and forth between his sister and his best friend before settling his eyes on Brenda. "You want to explain to me exactly what you are doing?" he finally asks Brenda. "I mean I get the obvious, but after everything Dylan has done to hurt you?"

"Wait a minute, why are you so upset?" Brenda asks, surprised, unknowingly echoing Brandon's question to Kelly just seconds before.

"You want to know why I'm upset? I got to watch you sit and cry for hours day after day the last time you and Dylan were together. I trusted him, we both trusted him, and he betrayed you Bren."

Dylan laughs but it's anything but humorous. "Let's talk betrayal Brandon. Let me ask you, what exactly are YOU doing?" He looks at Kelly then back to Brandon. "What gives you the right to come down on me for having sex with your sister when you are having sex with Kelly?"

Dylan stops abruptly, realizing how bad what just came out of his mouth sounded. Almost as if in slow motion, he turns to see Brenda's face. She stares at him, shocked, her eyes wide and beginning to tear up and her breath catching in her throat. They stare at each other for a moment, time seeming to stand still. "Brenda….."

Hearing her name on his lips galvanizes Brenda to action. He reaches out to touch her, to explain, somehow. She shakes her head no as she jerks her arm out of his reach. Turning, Brenda runs out of the kitchen. Grabbing her purse and the keys to her mom's station wagon from the table in the foyer, she wrenches the door open and runs as fast as she can to the car. Dylan runs after her. "Brenda!" he yells as she jumps in the car and quickly pulls out of the driveway, tires squealing.

Dylan sits down on the ground and buries his face in his hands, tears running slowly down his cheeks. "What have I done?" he whispers.

* * *

><p>Kelly opens her eyes to see Brandon staring at her. "It's not really over is it Kelly?" he says softly. "I think you should go." He says as he turns his back to her bracing his hands on the counter.<p>

"Brandon…." She stops unsure what to say and afraid to make things worse. She picks up her purse and travel bag and walks to the kitchen door. She stops to look back at Brandon, her hand on the knob. He doesn't move. She slowly opens the door and walks out, closing it softly behind her.

Brandon closes his eyes as he hears the door close. Sighing, he takes a deep breath and walks slowly to the front door. He walks out and sits down next to Dylan. They sit there silently, each lost in their own thoughts, wondering how a day that started out so promising could so suddenly and completely fall apart.


	5. Chapter 5 Just can't stay

**_I hope uploading this chapter works better than the last one! Chapter 4 kept disappearing, not sure what happened, just glad it got fixed. :) This chapter is not very exciting but it is necessary. Although, I will say it was supposed to include Dylan's actions/thoughts as well as bring Brandon back into the scene but the Brenda, Nat and Donna scenes took on a life of their own (what can I say, I love Nat!) and since I was already at almost 1100 words, I decided I would split it up. Hope you enjoy. And if you don't, I hope you keep reading anyway. LOL It won't be sunshine and roses but eventually it will get better. As always, thanks for the reviews! _**

**Chapter 5 Just can't stay**

Brenda drives aimlessly through the streets of Beverly Hills, tears rolling down her face, Dylan's words running through her head on replay. Not wanting to go home in case Dylan is still there and not able to go to Donna because Kelly could be there or walk in at any moment, Brenda is torn on what to do. Finally realizing she has been driving around for so long it's already past dinner time, she decides to take a chance and go to the Peach Pit. Driving through the parking lot to make sure the cars are not any that she recognizes, she parks and goes inside sitting in the corner hoping she can remain invisible for a little while longer. Nat sees her sitting alone, downcast and looking like she is a million miles away. Worried about one of "his kids." he walks over to check on her.

"Brenda? You okay honey?" he asks softly. Brenda looks up to see Nat standing next to her. "You look like you are a million miles away. Anything I can do to help?"

"Hi Nat. I'm…." Brenda hesitates, the idea hits suddenly and she knows exactly what she has to do. "Thanks Nat. I think you did help." She says determinedly. Nat looks at her confused. "I'll be okay. I always am." She whispers. Nat smiles. "How about I bring you a MegaBurger? I know it's not much, but it's made with love." He winks at her. Brenda smiles. "Thanks Nat."

Brenda gets up and goes to the pay phone. Sticking coins in, she dials and waits for an answer, finger ready to hang up if necessary. "Donna! Thank goodness you answered. Can you meet me at the Peach Pit? I need to talk to you.

"Brenda? Sure I can. Are you okay? Kelly told me what happened."

"Can we just talk about it when you get here? And Donna? Please don't tell anyone where I am okay?"

"I won't. I promise. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Brenda's mind is spinning as she tries to work out the details of what she knows she has to do next. She is so lost in thought she doesn't even realize Nat has set her food down in front of her until he has already walked away. She absently eats as she waits for Donna and wonders how this is going work out….and if anyone will really even care.

Ten minutes have passed and Donna walks into the Peach Pit. Nat is walking back from delivering an order and sees her. "Donna, see if you can cheer Brenda up okay?"

Donna smiles at Nat. He always tries to take care of them. "That's why I'm here Nat. Where is she?" He points to the corner and Donna walks over and sits down pulling Brenda from her thoughts.

"Bren? Are you okay?" She says softly, seeing the tear stained cheeks and the sad eyes of her best friend.

"Not really, but I will be. Listen Donna, I wanted to see you because I know you are having a rough time with David and everything and I want to be here for you but…..I'm leaving." Brenda bites her lip as she waits for a reaction.

Donna looks at her strangely, "I know. You're going to London next week for the summer. It's okay. I wish you were going to be here but I understand why you can't turn down this opportunity."

"Donna. I'm not going next week. I'm going tonight."

"WHAT?" Donna shrieks.

"Shhh…" Whispers Brenda looking around to make sure Nat or anyone who might spill the beans doesn't overhear. "Look, I just wanted to let you know why I won't be here. I'm going to go home, pack a bag and take the first plane out I can get. I can't…."Brenda closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before looking back at Donna. "I can't stay Donna. Not right now. I just can't be that strong this time. I have to get away from Dylan. I really thought he meant it when he said he still loved me. Now, I realize he was only with me because he wasn't with Kelly." A tear slowly trickles down her cheek. "I'm just sorry I won't be here for you. Please try to understand. I love you but I just can't stay."

Donna sits quietly staring at Brenda for what seems like hours. Finally, she says softly, "Brenda, are you sure you want to go this way?"

Brenda nods. "Are you mad?"

Donna smiles. "I won't be." Now it's Brenda's turn to be confused.

"What do you mean?"

Donna hesitates for only a second, "I mean, I won't be mad at you for leaving if you let me come with you. I do understand Bren. I don't think I can stay here and see David either. So, I say we both go to London." She waits for Brenda to say something.

"Donna, are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Look at how much fun we had together in Paris. And this time, we can do what we want when we want because there will be no one waiting for us here to worry about. Come on Bren. Please say it's okay." Donna pleads as she gets more and more excited at the thought of getting away from David and the memories of him and Ariel. "Pretty please?"

Brenda laughs. "What are we waiting for? Let's go to London!" She reaches across the table and squeezes Donna's hand as Donna grins back at her.

"Well, that is much better!" They both jump as they look up to see Nat standing by the table. "I like that smile much better than the frown you came in here with young lady." He says, trying to sound stern but smiling too big for it to really work. Donna and Brenda laugh again.

"Thanks Nat." Brenda stands up and throws her arms around his neck and gives him a hug. Nat hugs her back tightly.

"Anytime kid."

"Bye Nat." Brenda says softly, trying not to give herself away, as she pulls away from him and starts towards the door. Donna hugs Nat quickly and follows Brenda, leaving Nat looking at them quizzically. The door to the Peach Pit closes softly behind them as they stand in the parking lot. They look at each other, hesitating for only a second before heading to their cars.


	6. Chapter 6 Overly dramatic

**Chapter 6 Overly Dramatic**

Dylan stares into space as he and Brandon both try to come to terms with what just happened.

"I think we need to talk about what just happened don't you, Dylan?" Brandon says quietly as he sits next to Dylan.

Dylan sighs. "What exactly do you want to talk about Brandon? How horrible I am for being here with Brenda?" he asks somewhat sarcastically.

"Well…..yeah, that's part of it. If you still have feelings for Kelly and based on that fiasco in the kitchen you do, why are you here? Don't you think it was hard enough on Brenda the first time you chose Kelly? I realize it sounds funny coming from me since I never really called you on it before, but I saw what Brenda went through man. I don't want to see it again if you are just buying time until you and Kelly figure out what you want. And quite frankly, I don't want to go through what Brenda did myself. "

"Brandon, I don't have anything to figure out with Kelly, alright? Believe it or not, I love Brenda. I never stopped." Dylan scowls off into the distance. "Why the hell do you think Kelly and I couldn't make it work? Because my heart wasn't WITH Kelly, it was with Brenda. Kelly knew that. But with the situation with your dad and then things just spiraled out of control so quickly…" Dylan rubs his face with his hands and closes his eyes. "Until yesterday, I didn't think there was any way to make it right."

"Then why were you so angry about Kelly being with me in Washington?"

"I wasn't B. I came down those stairs braced for a major blowout with Jim and when I saw you and Kelly, I was shocked, I guess. Look, I won't lie and say I don't care about her or that it didn't rub me the wrong way to see that you two hooked up behind my back. You are my best friend Brandon, and I guess it just brought back a lot of stuff from the past with me, Brenda, and Kelly. Then when you both started in on us…I didn't mean it to come out the way it did. I just lashed out and…..Damn." Dylan goes silent.

"Open mouth insert foot?" Brandon grins.

Dylan looks over quickly and sees the smirk on Brandon's face and laughs softly. "Something like that. One of these days I will learn to think before I speak…..I hope." His smile fades, "What do I do Brandon? How do I convince Brenda that it meant more to me than just sex? I love her. I don't want to lose her again B."

"Well, I guess I will try to forget for a moment the fact that we are talking about sex and my sister in the same breath and tell you that you need to try to explain to her exactly what you did mean. " Brandon puts his hand on Dylan's shoulder and squeezes, "And I would consider groveling….alot."

Dylan shakes his head and rolls his eyes. Finally, he looks over at Brandon with a smirk, "So, Kelly huh?"

Brandon laughs. "Yeah." He turns serious quickly. "I'm sorry D. I didn't want you to find out like this. I was going to talk to you about it first."

"Don't sweat it man. I know you have always had a thing for Kelly, you were just too afraid of what Steve would think if you acted on it."

"Well, I guess it doesn't really matter at this point does it? Obviously, Kelly has some feelings she hasn't quite worked out."

Dylan glances over at him, "Just talk to her Brandon. I am living proof of how you can say the wrong thing even if you don't really mean it. Don't take it at face value." Brandon nods but doesn't say anything else.

Finally, after a few minutes, he speaks up. "That's not the only thing I'm sorry about Dylan. I shouldn't have said anything about you and Brenda. If you guys want to give it another shot, who am I to interfere. Just….." He hesitates.

"Just say it man." Dylan responds.

"Be sure Dylan. Don't hurt her again. If you don't want to commit to Brenda, just let it go now."

Dylan nods. "I know what I want now, B. I know WHO I want to spend my life with. I'm not letting her go this time."

They sit in comfortable silence. Finally, Dylan sighs and stands up. "I guess it was too much to hope that Brenda would decide to come back home before I left. I'm going to head out, maybe hit a few spots and see if I can find her. Will you let her know I want to talk to her if you see her man?"

"Yeah, I'll put in a good word." Brandon says with a chuckle.

"Later." Dylan grins and walks to his car.

* * *

><p>Brenda pulls into the driveway at Casa Walsh with a sigh of relief when she notices the lights are off and no cars are in the drive. "Good, maybe I can get in and out without anyone knowing, " She says to herself. She hurries into the house and up the stairs.<p>

She spends a half hour finishing up the trunk she needs for the summer in London and sits down to write a note to her parents telling them that she and Donna have decided to spend a few days together in London before classes start and apologizing for leaving without saying goodbye, as well as asking them to ship her trunk over. She puts it in an envelope and walks down the hall to put it on their bed so they will find it easily.

Walking back to her room, she quickly begins packing a bag with essentials that will get her through the next week or so until her things arrive.

Brenda is so intent on her packing she doesn't hear the front door open or footsteps on the stairs until it's too late.

"Dylan has been looking for you." Brandon says from the doorway, startling her.

She turns and looks at him before turning back and closing the suitcase, zipping it as she speaks. "Don't Brandon." She says quietly.

"Come on Brenda. I know he can be a jerk and God knows he has done some stupid things but don't you think you should talk to him? Let him explain?"

"Why do you care Brandon? Aren't you the same person that questioned me about Dylan earlier today?" she asks, more irritated by the fact that she got caught than by anything he says. Brandon opens his mouth to respond, but Brenda pulls her suitcase off her bed and walks past him and down the stairs sitting the suitcase next to the front door. Turning to face him as he comes down behind her, she finally speaks again, "Look, let's not talk about Dylan okay." She hesitates for a moment, "I hope you know what you are doing with Kelly. Just be careful okay?" Brenda takes a deep breath, walks over, and hugs him. "I love you Brandon." She says softly. As she pulls away, the pieces begin to click together for Brandon.

He stares at her incredulously. "You're leaving now?"

Brenda sighs. "Yes, Brandon. I think that would be best for everyone don't you? Look, I left a note for mom and dad. I'll call when I get to London."

Brandon shakes his head, rolling his eyes, "Would you stop? Do you have to be so overly dramatic?" He says somewhat rudely.

Brenda glares at him. "I'll miss you too Brandon." She says sarcastically before picking up her suitcase and walking out the front door to Donna's waiting car.


	7. Chapter 7 Desperation and Departures

**_Thanks to everyone for your reviews. I had to write this story regardless or it would have driven me crazy since I couldnt get it out of my head, but its so nice to know that people are actually reading it and enjoying it._ _I am also glad no one but me seemed to have an issue with Dylan and Brandon's conversation. LOL So, here is the next chapter. All I will say is, Don't throw things. :) It won'_****_t hit me and you dont want to have to clean up the mess. heehee_**

**Chapter 7 Desperation and Departures**

Driving up and down streets in Beverly Hills should not be this tiring but Dylan is exhausted, not physically but mentally. Thoughts of the last 24 hours keep running through his head and he can't stop the vicious cycle. His stomach is in knots. He is so worried about Brenda. Everyone thinks she is so strong but Dylan has seen the vulnerable side of her that no one else except maybe Brandon has ever been privy to and its tearing him up inside to know that once again he is the reason she is hurting. He sighs as he pulls into his driveway. Thinking that maybe she has called or that Brandon has called to tell him she is back sends him almost running up the walk to the front door. As long as he knows she is safe he can begin groveling later after she is willing to listen to him. His gaze immediately goes to the front table and the answering machine where the light is blinking, seemingly brighter and faster than ever, at least in Dylan's mind. He rushes over to push the button. His relief at hearing Brandon's voice is clearly visible on his face. "D, I talked to Brenda. Can you come over to the house man?"

Dylan doesn't even wait for the rest of the message to finish before running out the door and back to his car for the short drive to the Walsh house. In minutes, he is in the driveway and out of the car. He knocks and waits impatiently. Brandon opens the door and ushers him in, Dylan's gaze immediately goes to the top of the stairs where Brenda's room is, knowing that she is probably in there crying or possibly cursing him at this point.

"Bren's in her room?" He questions as he heads immediately to the stairs, surprised when Brandon grabs his arm to stop him. He turns back to face him.

"She isn't here." Brandon says quietly.

"You left a message for me to come over here. What's going on man? Where's Brenda?" Dylan is trying to stay calm but his voice gets louder with every syllable until he is just short of screaming.

"I had to run to CU to drop off some papers for the task force. When I got back Brenda was packing Dylan." Brandon speaks slowly, looking closely at Dylan, who gazes back at him confused.

"I know. She was packing all morning for London. What does that have to do with anything Brandon?" He is getting more frustrated as the seconds wear on. "Just spit it out B."

"Dylan, Brenda is gone." Brandon watches as Dylan's face turns completely white. "She is probably already at the airport if not already on a plane to London."

Dylan begins shaking his head, "No. NO! She can't do that!" He closes his eyes. "How could you let her leave?" He yells, although deep down he knows Brandon could no more stop a determined Brenda than Jim was able to when he and Brenda were dating. Nothing could stop a determined Brenda.

"I tried to stop her but I think I made it worse." He says softly.

"How?" Dylan questions. "You know what? It doesn't matter. I have to get to the airport. I have to stop her." He runs out the door before Brandon can say another word. "I have to." He whispers to himself as he jumps in the car and squeals out of the driveway.

* * *

><p>Brenda is bouncing her knees as she waits impatiently for her flight to be called.<p>

"Bren, relax." Donna smiles at her. "Are you that nervous about going to London?"

"No" Brenda sighs. "I'm worried Brandon will tell Dylan where we are. When are they going to call our flight already?"

"At least there is someone who cares enough to come after you. David is probably in a limo with Ariel. I doubt he will even notice I'm gone." Donna says rather bitterly.

"I'm sorry Donna." Brenda says quietly. "I know this has been a hard few days for you too. I hope you don't think I'm trying to make my problems with Dylan seem more important. "

Donna shrugs, "I know. Listening to you and trying to help is keeping my mind off my own problems. You did the same for me a couple of days ago. I'm glad I can return the favor."

Suddenly the intercom comes to life.

"British Airways Flight 268 to London is now boarding."

Brenda and Donna stare at each other. "Brenda, are you sure you don't want to stay and try to talk to Dylan?" Donna asks softly.

Brenda bites her lip, shaking her head slowly. "It's over Don." She stands up, grabs her purse, and takes a deep breath. "Let's go to London."

Brenda walks to the gate with Donna close behind.

"Come on. Come on!" Dylan yells as the traffic light remains red. Just as he is getting ready to throw caution to the wind and run it, the light changes to green. He hits the gas and makes the last turn into the airport. Pulling his car up to the unloading area, he shuts it off and jumps over the side, running for the doors and weaving his way through people to get to the international terminal. Walking quickly between the gates looking for Brenda, he is getting more desperate with each step he takes. He walks up to a gate attendant. "Where is the next flight to London boarding?" He asks anxiously.

"I'm sorry sir. The last flight of the night is on the runway now. I can check tomorrow's flights if you would like."

Dylan's breathe catches in his throat, as he slowly shakes his head. "No." He whispers.

"Sir?" The attendant is instantly concerned.

"Can you check the boarding list? Was Brenda Walsh on that plane?" He asks, desperate and clinging to hope that Brenda missed the flight and is sitting somewhere in the airport until morning.

"I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to give out that information. I…"

"Please." Dylan's voice cracks.

The attendant glances around and not seeing anyone paying close attention, she grabs the list of passengers. "I really shouldn't do this." She hesitates but the look on the young man's face clenches her heart and she has to help. "What was the name again?"

"Brenda. Brenda Walsh." Dylan anxiously taps his fingers on the counter as she runs her fingers down the list. She stops and looks up at him slowly.

"I'm sorry." She says quietly.

Looking down, Dylan sees Brenda's name clearly check marked on the piece of paper and his heart sinks. "She's gone." He whispers. Tears stream down his face as he turns and walks away.


	8. Chapter 8 Defeated

**Chapter 8 Defeated**

Dylan drives slowly back to his house almost in a daze. By the time he pulls into his driveway he knows what he has to do. Working out the details in his mind, he walks to the front door and sees Kelly standing there waiting for him. He stops for a moment and stares at her. "I'm not in the mood to fight with you Kelly." he says as he walks around her to open the front door.

"I don't want to fight Dylan, but I have something I want to say. I'm not leaving until I do." Kelly says softly, knowing his emotions are all over the place at this moment and trying not to antagonize him. After apologizing to Brandon earlier and asking if they can work on starting over, he told her about Brenda leaving and Dylan trying to stop her.

Dylan sighs. "Fine. But make it fast." He walks to the couch and sits down, leaning back and placing his feet on the coffee table.

"I'm sorry." Kelly says, still speaking softly.

Dylan jerks his head up to look at her, obviously not expecting this. "What exactly are you sorry for Kel?"

"Everything. I'm sorry for my reaction to you and Brenda first of all. You and I broke up and it's none of my business who you are with any longer. " She hesitates, "Did you stop her from leaving town?"

Dylan's eyes involuntarily fill with tears and he tries desperately not to let them fall. Knowing if he tries to speak, he might lose it he simply shakes his head no.

"I'm also sorry if I'm the reason she left Dylan. I never meant for that to happen." Now, its Kelly's turn to sigh. "I know you and I started out because you were having problems with Brenda and with Jim. I also know you never stopped loving her. I think that's why you and I never had a chance. I never had your heart. It always belonged to Brenda. I was convinced that if I had you for myself I could be as happy as Brenda was back then. I'm sorry I didn't realize how wrong it was, how wrong we were for each other."

She glances at Dylan to see him staring at her. "I was to blame too Kel. I let it happen." He whispers as an errant tear escapes down his cheek. "I'm sorry I reacted to you and Brandon the way I did. I hope you guys can work out your issues. He's a good guy."

Kelly looks away and takes a deep breath. "So are you Dylan and I hope someday we can be friends again." She stands up and begins to walk to the door. She stops and turns back to look at him. "If there is anything I can do to help you get Brenda back I will." She offers tentatively.

Dylan finally offers a weak smile. "Thanks but I think this is one mess I have to fix on my own."

"Are you planning something for when she gets back from London?" She ask curiously.

Dylan exhales loudly, "No. I don't think I can afford to wait do you? You know Bren. The longer she has to think about it the longer it will be before she bends a little. As soon as I hear from Kevin and get the ball rolling with the factory, I am flying to London. I'm not losing her again."

Kelly smiles. "Good luck. I should get going. I promised Jackie I would come by to see Erin."

"Thanks Kelly." Dylan watches as she walks out the door. Who knows? He thinks to himself. Maybe someday we can all be friends again.

* * *

><p>Dylan is pacing the living room with the phone to his ear. "Sorry Nat, I haven't heard from Suzanne or from Kevin. I don't know what's going on or why they haven't returned yet. If things get too busy, give me a call and I will come help out." He hangs up the phone frustrated. Suzanne and Kevin have been gone for a week on what was supposed to be a two-day trip. Not only has it left Nat short-handed at The Pit, but Dylan wanted to be on a plane to London days ago. By now, he should be convincing Brenda to give him another chance and taking her to the most romantic spots in London to do it. The longer this takes the harder it's going to be to convince her.<p>

He jumps when he hears a noise at the front door. He was so lost in thought he didn't even realize the mailman was delivering until the envelopes hit the floor. He walks over and glances through them. "Bill, bill…..what is this?" He asks himself softly. He opens the envelope and reads to himself, "I originally found it in a stall at the LA airport…." His breath catches as he sees the note in Erica's handwriting. _Kevin and Suzanne are taking me to Brazil. Help me! Erica_

Dylan grabs the phone pressing 0. "Operator, how may I help you?"

"Connect me to the Los Angeles FBI field office." He tries not to yell but his voice gets louder with each word, panic causing him to breathe hard.

"Please hold."

After seconds that seem like hours, a voice finally answers. "FBI LA office. How may I direct your call?"

"I need to talk to Christine Petit."

"May I ask who is calling?"

"Dylan McKay."

"Hold please." Finally, a new male voice comes on the phone. "This is Special Agent in Charge Davis. How can I help you?"

Dylan is confused. "I asked to speak to Christine Petit."

"I'm sorry. We have no one here by that name."

"What do you mean? Did she transfer? Where is she?" Dylan is getting irate by this point.

"I'm sorry Mr. McKay. I don't have an Agent Petit at this office. You must be mistaken."

"Look, my dad was Jack McKay. My sister, Erica, has been kidnapped. Her mother and stepfather..."

Before he can continue the agent interrupts. "I'm sorry for your troubles but if the child is with her mother, it's not kidnapping and quite frankly Mr. McKay, you would need to contact the local authorities even if it were. Have a nice day." The phone clicks in Dylan's ear as the agent hangs up. Dylan throws the phone across the room and sits on the floor, sobs sounding from deep within as the panic takes over.

After several minutes, he wipes his eyes and looks around the room. "I'll find her myself." Swallowing hard, he grabs a bag and throws clothes in haphazardly then grabs his passport. He walks out the front door and jumps in his car.

Tires squealing, Dylan pulls into the bank parking lot. He runs inside and immediately finds the manager. "I need to make a large withdrawal." He says frantically.

The manager looks at him strangely. "Mr. McKay, your partner closed out the account last week."

"What?" Dylan looks stunned. "My part…..Kevin." he whispers.

"I'm sorry." The manager begins.

Dylan doesn't hear him. Turning he walks to the door and back to his car. As he pulls out of the parking lot, Dylan is defeated. The events of the last week finally break Dylan completely. Tears running down his face, he has nowhere else to go. Brenda is gone, Erica is gone and thanks to his unwarranted trust in Kevin and Suzanne, he no longer has the money to go after either of them. He heads the car towards Baja to get lost in himself.


	9. Chapter 9  A drunken state

_**Kind of a short chapter but it gets us to the next point. :) Enjoy? LOL **_

**Chapter 9 A drunken state **

Dylan sits in the corner of the dark and dingy dive with empty beer bottles and shot glasses covering the table. "I need another drink!" He slurs trying to get the attention of the bartender, who looks over and shakes his head. "I don't think so Amigo. You have had enough. Go sleep it off."

Dylan glares at him and attempts to stand up almost falling over in his drunken state. "I know when I've had enough. I haven't had enough." He grabs the back of the chair to steady himself. "Another drink por favor." Dylan bellows.

The bartender sighs. "You have had enough. When you have money, you come back."

"It's always bout the money. Always money…..money." He begins mumbling as he begins to stumble towards the door.

"I've got a full bottle of tequila in my room just waiting for someone to share it with." Dylan turns slowly, trying not to fall, to see a curvy, dark haired woman leaning against the wall. He blinks slowly as she comes into focus, recognizing her as another guest of the hotel he has been staying at. She had been flirting with him all week and he had barely noticed her, his heart and mind elsewhere.

She saunters over and runs her finger down the front of his shirt. "You interested?" she whispers seductively.

Dylan blinks again, her image beginning to blur. "Lead me to the tequila." He responds dully, no expression on his face.

She grabs him by the hand and leads him out the door and across the road to the motel. They walk down the hall and she opens the door, motioning Dylan into the room.

"So where's that tequila?" He slurs.

She walks over to the table in the corner and pours a tumbler full before walk back over to hand it to him. "Why don't you have a seat?" she murmurs as she lightly pushes him backwards. Dylan's knees hit the bed and he tumbles onto it but manages to save his drink. He sips as he looks up at her through blurry eyes. "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable." She says provocatively as she walks across the room and into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Dylan forgets about her instantly as he turns up the tumbler and drains the glass. Staggering across the room, he refills the glass and begins to drink. A minute or two later he hears a noise behind him and turns to see the stranger standing in the bathroom doorway in a filmy, black negligee. He downs the rest of the drink quickly as she walks toward him smiling. Stopping in front of him, she takes the empty glass from his hand and sits it on the table before running her hands down his chest then back up. She slowly begins unbuttoning his shirt and slides it off his shoulders. Dylan swallows hard as she walks him backwards and then shoves him gently toward the bed. He falls lightly onto it as she crawls over him. "I've been watching you." She whispers in his ear. She begins kissing his ear, his cheek, his neck.

Dylan closes his eyes in a drunken haze, the room spinning even with them closed. Suddenly, he sees Brenda's face in his mind's eye.

_" Dylan, I love you." _He hears Brenda's voice in his head as images start to run through his hazy brain. _"Give me something to come back to." _Image after image flashes through his head, that first kiss after two years, making love to Brenda after she told him she still loved him, holding her tightly in his arms afterwards, and in the shower before the debacle at the Walsh house with Kelly and Brandon. Suddenly, his mind replays the later scene at the Walsh house; the slow motion walk down the stairs to the kitchen with her hand held tightly in his, the anguish in Brenda's eyes at his foolish, hot headed remark to Kelly and the sight of her running away from him. Even the sound of the tires squealing as she speeds off begins to ring in his ears. Tears well up in his eyes without warning. He jerks suddenly, coming back to the moment as he feels fingers unbuttoning his jeans. Dylan grabs both hands before they can go any further, stopping her from completing the task.

He opens his eyes to see the woman looking at him confused. "What….." She begins. Dylan interrupts as he sits up abruptly moving her gently to the side.

"I can't do this." He stands unsteadily reaching to the floor slowly to pick up his shirt, trying not to fall on his face. "I'm sorry." He says softly. Dylan stumbles to the door and fumbles with the chain. Finally getting it unlocked, he opens the door and hesitates. He glances back at the woman, who is still sitting where he left her, somewhat shocked. "I'm…." He lets out a heavy breath. "I'm sorry." He whispers before walking out and letting the door close softly behind him. He walks as fast as a drunk can walk to his room on the other end of the hall. He locks the door behind him and falls on his own bed. "Brenda….Brenda." He sobs, his chest heaving with the effort. Curled in the fetal position, Dylan cries himself to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10 There has to be a way

**Chapter 10 There has to be a way**

Brenda grins at Donna as they walk out of Harrods. "I can't believe you bought all those clothes, Don. Don't you ever get tired?"

Donna laughs, "Not when I'm shopping. I love this! You know, I could totally create some of these outfits myself."

"Yes you could." Brenda laughs with her. They walk along in silence for a few minutes taking in the atmosphere of the streets of London.

"Bren?" Donna says softly, "Are you sorry we left Beverly Hills the way we did? I know you still miss Dylan."

Brenda sighs. Glancing around Brenda sees they are at the entrance to Hyde Park. She walks inside and sees a bench. She sits down and turns to face Donna who sits next to her.

"I'm sorry Bren. I don't want to make you sad but we really haven't talked about it. You have let me talk about David and I feel better because of that, but you haven't mentioned Dylan at all. I'm just worried about you. "

Brenda looks out across the park watching the people jog and bike along the trails.. "It's okay. You aren't making me sad Donna. I haven't stopped being sad." She slowly turns to face Donna who sees the tears Brenda has tried so hard to hide for so long. "I'm just trying not to think about it you know? If I keep busy with classes, studying, shopping," She holds a shopping bag in Donna's face causing her to chuckle. "If I can just keep busy, it doesn't hurt so much. I really thought things would be different this time. What an idiot huh?" Brenda says with a self-deprecating laugh as she wipes the tears from her face.

Donna puts her arm around her and hugs her tightly. "You aren't an idiot Brenda."

"That's not what my dad said when he found out from Brandon why I left so quickly." She smirks.

"Your dad…." Donna hesitates unsure what to say.

Brenda laughs. "Yes, Donna my dad. Anyway, it's not like I didn't expect it. I guess I should just be grateful Brandon only told him Dylan and I were talking about getting back together when everything blew up and didn't tell him he caught us in the shower."

"Yeah, I would not want to know how Jim would react to that one." Donna laughs with her. After sitting in silence for a few moments. "So, do you think you will give Dylan a chance to explain when you go back to Beverly Hills?"

"What is there to explain Donna? How he loves me but he loves Kelly too? How we are just too intense and he can't handle it because Kelly is easier? Besides if Dylan really wanted to explain why hasn't he at least called? You know he could get the number from Brandon or even Kelly if he really wanted to talk to me."

Donna bites her lip. Brenda notices and realizes Donna knows something else that she hasn't told her yet. "What is it?" she asks, her voice spiking.

"I talked to Kelly yesterday while you were in class. She says no one has seen Dylan in three weeks."

"Brandon and Kelly are still dating right?" At Donna's nod, Brenda continued. "He's probably in Baja drowning his sorrows in alcohol and women because she chose Brandon. He'll be back and then he and Brandon can fight over her all they want." She stands up abruptly. "Let's get back okay? I have a script I need to go over before class tomorrow."

"He told Kelly he was going to come after you Bren. " Donna says softly.

"Well obviously he changed his mind. But I haven't changed mine. I just have to find some way to get over him once and for all….and I will." Brenda begins to walk back to the street and whispers to herself, "There has to be a way." Donna grabs her bags, and catching up to her quickly they walk back to their flat in silence.

* * *

><p>Dylan wakes up slowly, his head already pounding before he even opens his eyes. He groans and rolls over towards the window before realizing he forgot to close the blinds and the bright Baja sun is shining directly into his room. "Uugghh!" He rolls back over trying to evade the bright light until he can get a handle on his hangover but it doesn't work. Now that he is awake he has to go to the bathroom. He slowly sits up and eases off the bed shuffling to the bathroom and trying not to make any sudden moves. After relieving himself, he washes his hands and sticks his head under the faucet waiting for the cold water to cut through the haze in his brain. As the haze lifts, he remembers the events of the night before. Shutting off the water, he looks at his image in the mirror and sighs. "Bren." He whispers and closes his eyes. After a minute or two, he opens his eyes and determinedly walks out of the bathroom. He grabs his duffel bag and walking around the room begins to pick up his things, throwing them in the bag. "I've got to figure out a way to find Erica and make things right with Brenda." He says to himself. "There has to be a way." He checks out of the motel and hits the road full speed heading back to Beverly Hills.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11 For a Price

Chapter 11 For a Price

Dylan drags his bag from the back seat and walks tiredly to the front door. Never has the drive from Baja back to Beverly Hills felt so long. Throwing the duffel to the side of the door, he punches the button on the answering machine hoping there is a message from Brenda but knowing better.

"Dylan, its Brandon. Where are you man? Call me." Dylan walks towards the couch and sits down.

"Mr. McKay, this is Dennis from the Surfrider Foundation. Last year, your donation of $10,000 was instrumental to the support of our Blue Water Task Force and we hope we can count on you again this year." Dylan rolls his eyes . _Not likely buddy_, he thinks to himself.

"Dylan, its Christine. I heard you tried to call me. Look, I can't explain things that are going on here and I really can't do anything personally right now to help, but I got in touch with a friend who might be able to. His name is Jonesy and he will be calling you. He is a bit of a jerk and he isn't cheap but he is very good at finding people who don't want to be found. Good luck Dylan" There is a brief pause. "Dylan? If anyone asks, don't mention who put you in touch with Jonesy, okay?" Dylan hears a click as Christine hangs up.

"Mr. McKay, my name is Jonesy. A mutual friend said you might need my help. Call me. 555-1255."

Dylan walks quickly back across the room and grabs a pad of paper. Listening to the last message again, he writes down the number and reaches for the phone as the doorbell rings. Sighing, he puts the phone back down and opens the door prepared to get rid of the unwanted visitor quickly. "Can I help you?" he asks shortly to the man in the loud Hawaiian print shirt and Bermuda shorts at the door.

The man grins and walks into the house without waiting for an invitation. "Nope but I can help you."

"Look I don't know who you are buddy, but you can't just…" Dylan begins to get irritated at the nerve of the guy.

"I'm the guy you have been looking for. Dylan right?" Dylan frowns, wondering where the guys with the white jackets are when he needs them but before he can speak again the loud mouth man speaks. "Christine said you need help finding someone. Who and why?" He asks brusquely.

"You're Jonesy?" he asks somewhat incredulously, wondering if Christine has lost her mind. This man looked more like a clown to Dylan than the person who can help save his sister.

"The one and only boy. " Jonesy grins. He turns and walks to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. "Don't you buy groceries kid? I don't need much but a beer would be nice." He mumbles as he grimaces at the empty cold box.

Dylan walks up behind him and closes the door almost catching Jonesy's hand in it as it closes. "I'll keep that in mind if there happens to be a next time. " He says grumpily. He hesitates for a second longer but what choice does he really have at this point. "So, you can find my sister?"

Jonesy looks at him coolly for a few seconds. "Maybe. For a price. Let's get down to business boy." He walks past Dylan back into the living room and sits on the couch putting his feet up on the table. "How much is it worth to you?"

Dylan sits down on a kitchen chair and stares at Jonesy. "Everything I have." He says softly. Before Jonesy has time to get too excited Dylan continues. "But at the moment that isn't much."

It takes 2 hours for Dylan and Jonesy to hammer out a deal with Jonesy getting a large percentage of Dylan's money when they find Suzanne and Kevin. But Dylan doesn't care. Erica is family and she is worth any amount of money he has to pay to keep her safe.

"You got a passport kid?" Jonesy asks as he is getting ready to leave.

"Yeah, I got a passport. Why?"

"Because you can't get into Brazil without one. " Jonesy says.

"Look," Dylan is tired and now starts to get angry, "I told you man, I don't have any money right now. They took everything. I can't buy a plane ticket. I would already be there if I could."

Jonesy looks at Dylan with a smirk. "I'll take the cost out of your percentage when we get it back. Be ready to move fast. I will call you when it's time to leave." With that Jonesy turns and walks out the door without a backward glance, leaving Dylan confused but hopeful.

* * *

><p>The phone rings repeatedly with no signs of stopping. It finally cuts through the deep fog of Dylan's sleep filled brain. He rolls over and tries to grab it, knocking it off the nightstand. He feels around the floor with his eyes still closed. His hand finally finds it and he pushes the button and groggily answers. "Yeah?"<p>

"Get moving boy! You got half an hour to get to the airport." The voice booms on the other end.

Dylan frowns, still half asleep. "What? Who…."

"Do you want to find your sister or not? Move it kid! The doorbell should be ringing any second with your tickets. I'll meet you in the international concourse." The line goes dead just as the doorbell rings. Dylan jumps up and runs to the front door. The courier hands him the package. Dylan closes the door in his face without offering a tip or even a word and runs back to the bedroom to run his head under the faucet for a quick wake up and to grab his newly packed bag. He is in his car within 5 minutes barrelling down the road towards LAX and hopefully towards Erica and his money.


	12. Chapter 12 Justice at last

**_Surprise! I finished the next chapter and thought I would go ahead and share since I know the last chapter wasn't real exciting. :) I didn't actually watch these episodes on TV so this is completely my own. Dont know if all of it is logical but hey, it suits my purposes. And it gets us closer to more reunions...or does it? LOL guess you will have to keep reading to find out. ;-)_**

Chapter 12 Justice at last

_Almost three weeks with Jonesy is too long._ Dylan sighs as he looks out the window of the latest hotel he has been stuck in.

"Got em!" He suddenly hears as Jonesy walks into the room. "Let's get some money boy." He claps Dylan on the back with a loud laugh.

Dylan glares at him and takes a step back to avoid getting hit again. "What did you find out?"

Jonesy throws a small bag at Dylan who grabs it just before it can hit him in the face, then walks to the small refrigerator across the room and grabs a beer. Dylan opens the bag and pulls out a Brazilian driver's license with the name Kevin Wheeler showing next to a photo of Jonesy.

"What the hell is this?" Dylan asks confused.

"This is what is going to get us the big bucks, kid. Those bucks are in the National Bank of Brazil and that ID along with this account number, " Jonesy holds up a piece of paper with a series of numbers, "will allow me to walk into that bank and close out the account. You get your money, I get my money." He takes a swig of his beer. "AAhhh…..life is good boy!"

Dylan looks at Jonesy then back down at the ID and back to Jonesy. "I don't care about the money! I want to know how exactly this is going to get my sister back?"

Jonesy stops. "Kid, your sister is with her mom. What's the big deal? You are young, rich, well not quite as rich as you were before but still rich, and I'm sure some of the ladies think you are a good looking guy. Go out, enjoy life, find a sexy little senorita or 2…..or 3…THAT," Jonesy points to him, "is the REAL American dream."

Dylan is across the room in seconds. He shoves Jonesy into the wall and keeps his arm across his throat. "You listen me and you listen good. I hired you to find my sister. And you will not have a chance to spend one penny of MY money until you do. You got me?" Dylan's voice is deadly calm.

Jonesy shoves Dylan's arm and is a little shocked when nothing happens. "For a skinny guy, you're pretty strong kid." Dylan's arm tightens across his throat. "Alright! Alright! I know where the girl is. But if we don't take care of the money first, it won't work. If you get the kid first, they will have the means to get away. You get the money first. They will be so busy trying to figure out what happened they won't be worried about her." Dylan finally eases his grip and lets Jonesy pull away from the wall.

"As long as we understand each other." He says softly.

Jonesy looks at him for a moment then shakes his head in agreement before he turns away. "I'll go take care of the money and be back in an hour or so….."

"I don't think so." Dylan says sternly. "WE will go take care of the money."

"Are you saying you don't trust me boy?" Jonesy snarls.

Dylan smirks, "Not even a little bit….old man." He walks across the room and grabs his wallet off the table and heads for the door. "Let's go."

After a moment, Jonesy shakes his head in amazement and hurries to catch up to Dylan.

They walk two blocks to the bank in silence. As they get to the front door, Dylan grabs Jonesy by the arm. "I will wait right here. You go in and get the money. And don't even think about going out the back door. I will be watching."

Jonesy laughs. "You got guts kid. I like that." He walks into the building still laughing.

Five minutes later Jonesy struts out the door smiling. "Well?" Dylan asks. "Done." Jonesy grins. "I transferred all the money to the dummy account. As soon as it hit, it was automatically transferred into two new bank accounts just to be safe; four million into your account in beautiful Beverly Hills and the other 4 million are in an undisclosed location of my choosing."

For the first time in weeks, Dylan smiles. "Let's go get my sister." He grabs Jonesy by the arm. "Lead the way old man."

Jonesy gives Dylan a dirty look and jerks his arm away. "Let's get this over with. You may want to go play Barbie dolls with some little girl but me? I gotta date with a hot senorita of my own and I don't plan on being late." He struts off down the street with Dylan close behind.

After walking about 3 blocks, they arrive at a small beach area and head towards the sand. When they reach a copse of bushes, Jonesy stops and points. Just on the other side is a small bungalow. "That's where your friends are hiding out."

"How long do we have to wait to go in and get Erica? They obviously aren't going to let me walk in and take her without a fight." Dylan says quietly as he looks toward the bungalow. "Are they even in there?" Just as the question comes out, he sees Kevin and Suzanne walk into the living room in full view of the window he is looking through. They head towards the back of the room and suddenly Erica walks in and plops down on the sofa dejectedly. "Erica." Dylan whispers.

"Take it easy, kid. " Jonesy waits for a moment then points to a line of local police cars leading a black SUV up the road. "And there it is." Within minutes, FBI agents are at the door along with the local Brazilian police. Dylan and Jonesy stay hidden as the officers pull their guns and take Kevin and Suzanne into custody. "You can thank Christine for this one boy."

Dylan looks confused. "Apparently, you aren't the only one they scammed. They are wanted for quite a few missing fortunes." Jonesy explains.

"If you knew the FBI were taking them down, why didn't we just wait for them? What was the point of using fake ID's to get the money from the bank?"

"The FBI only knows that we found them, not that they took your money. The authorities could have taken control of the cash until the courts made a ruling; and that my friend could take years. This way, you get your money, I get my money, and they still go to jail."

Dylan walks out into the open as the officers walk Kevin and Suzanne to the car in handcuffs. They stare at him in shock but Dylan doesn't stop. He walks to the door and peeks inside.

"Erica!" She sees Dylan and launches herself into his arms almost knocking him over in her excitement. She starts crying. "I knew you would come! I knew it!"

Dylan hugs her close with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry it took me so long. But I'm here now. I'm here." He whispers.

Dylan looks at Erica. "Go grab some clothes and anything else you want to carry with you. I'm taking you home." Erica grins and takes off at a run towards her room.

Erica comes running towards them minutes later with her backpack. "I'm ready." Dylan smiles and grabs her by the hand. "Let's go."

The three of them hurry back to the street and head back to the hotel.

Once there, Dylan and Jonesy grab their bags and hail a taxi to the airport. "The sooner we get Erica out of Brazil the better." Dylan says quietly. "I don't want them to wiggle their way out of custody until we are far away from here or to somehow convince the locals that she should be kept here until they are charged."

"Well, I have no intention of waiting around to find out what they do next myself." Jonesy replies drolly. Luckily, it's a very short trip to the airport. They pay the driver and walk into the airport and towards the ticket counters.

Jonesy stops, "This is where we part ways boy. Pleasure doing business with you. " Dylan looks at him and slowly holds out his hand. Jonesy looks back at him for a moment before grabbing his hand and shaking. "You're alright kid." He grins.

Dylan chuckles, "You too old man, you too. Thank you." He says gratefully.

Dylan grabs Erica by the hand and heads to the first open ticket counter. "What is the next flight out of here?" He asks the ticket representative. She glances at him strangely before looking at her computer. "I have a flight leaving in 10 minutes to Argentina, after that…."

"I'll take two tickets." He interrupts and pulls out a credit card in the name of an alias he and Jonesy created just for this purpose. If Suzanne and Kevin manage to find a way out of this mess, he doesn't want them to be able to find Erica easily. Within 5 minutes he and Erica are boarding the plane as they call final boarding. He holds his breath until the plane is in the air then looks over to see his little sister sitting next to him and smiles.

They spend the rest of that flight and the next 2 flights talking and laughing as they make their way to their final destination. _Things are finally going my way_, Dylan thinks to himself as they land in Hawaii.


	13. Chapter 13 Heading Apart

**Chapter 13 Heading apart**

"Are you sure you will be okay here by yourself Don? I hate leaving you." Brenda says as she zips her suitcase. "I'm sure they would let you come with us if you want?"

"No thanks! I think I will be happier here shopping than doing a whirlwind tour of Europe." She laughs. "I can't believe you are going to be performing in all those different cities."

Donna helps Brenda get her bag down to the street where the van is waiting. "I'll miss you Bren. I'll see you in a week. Have fun!"

"Thanks Donna. You have a great time too. Just leave a few things in the stores for the rest of us okay?" They laugh as they hug goodbye. Brenda gets in the van and waves as they pull away from the curb.

Sitting back in her seat after Donna is out of sight, she reaches into her bag to find the dog-eared book she uncovered in the back of her closet at home weeks ago and brought along to finally, hopefully finish. She figured this would be just the thing to keep her from going crazy on the long drives from theatre to theatre. As she pulls it out, something falls out and at her feet. She reaches down slowly and finds herself looking at a photo of her and Dylan, cheek to cheek, his arms firmly around her, on the beach in Beverly Hills.

She slowly rips the photo in half before letting the two pieces fall to the floor of the van.

* * *

><p>Dylan sits on the beach gazing out at the blue waters of Hawaii. He jumps slightly as he feels someone sit down next to him.<p>

"You've been sad since you got here. I would think you would be on top of the world right now since getting Erica back as well as your money. Are you going to tell me what's wrong? " Iris asks her son softly.

He sighs. "I'm fine mom. Just got some things on my mind."

They sit silently for a moment as Iris debates the wisdom of trying to get him to open up. Before she can utter more than his name Erica comes running up and plops on the sand next to him. "What's going on?"

Dylan smiles at her exuberance. For a kid who has been through the things she has over the last couple of months, she is very well adjusted and actually seems happy. He ruffles her hair and pulls her into a sideways hug. "Just enjoying the beach." He says softly.

Erica looks at Iris. "He won't tell you what's wrong either?"

Dylan looks at her in shock then looks at Iris before bursting out laughing. "You're pretty perceptive you know that?" He asks her.

Iris smirks. "Yes she is. So why not tell us? We would rather know than guess."

At this Erica pipes up. "I think he's lonely. He needs to go see Brenda." Dylan's smile slowly dims and he looks down at the sand.

"Ahh, so it is Brenda that has you so upset." Iris states understandingly. "Darling, I know you two have been through a lot over the years and you probably have quite a few things to discuss but I know she has forgiven you for the choices you made in high school. Now that you are no longer with Kelly, the two of you can get back to where we both know you should be."

Dylan gives a deprecating laugh. "If only it were that simple."

"Dylan, it is that simple. I know Brenda still likes you just like I know you still like her. All you have to do is ask her out on a date again." Erica chimes in.

Iris suddenly realizes from the look on his face that there is more going on. "Dylan?" she says with a question in her voice.

"Brenda and I got back together before she left for London." He says quietly. "Then, I did something stupid. She thinks I only came back to her because I couldn't have Kelly." He looks at Iris. "She thinks I used her."

Erica jumps up from her spot on the sand and grabs him by the arm attempting to pull him up. "Then, you have to go make sure she knows you still love HER and not Kelly. What are you waiting for? You should be in London already, Dylan!" Dylan can't help but laugh at her as he stands up. He looks at Iris helplessly, asking for help with his eyes, knowing he can't explain fully to Erica. That is something he will not explain to ANYONE and especially not his little sister.

Iris simply grins. "Yes, what ARE you waiting for Dylan?" Dylan rolls his eyes as Erica drags him up the beach and into the house to pack.


	14. Chapter 14  The Game of Waiting

_**Hi everyone. Just want to thank all of you who are still reading and especially those who are kind enough to review. Hope you enjoy this. I have to admit I am. I always wanted Dylan to be the one pining for Brenda after the way he acted onscreen. LOL But I will be nice and tell you that he won't have to suffer the agony of wondering if she is going to forgive him forever. Just a bit longer! hehehe Then we will find out if he is put out of his misery or gets to head back to Beverly Hills alone to deal with his own broken heart. :) **_

**Chapter 14 The Game of Waiting**

Dylan taps his foot nervously as he waits for the plane to land at Heathrow Airport, a million thoughts swirling through his mind. Will Brenda let him explain? Will she believe him if she does let him explain? And more importantly HOW can he explain his most recent stupidity when it doesn't even make sense to him! He mentally berates himself once again. Finally, finally the plane's wheels hits the tarmac gently and his stomach clenches in anticipation and yes even in fear; fear that Brenda finally, once and for all gave up on him, on them. _Please don't let her give up. _He stands up and pulls his bag from the overhead compartment as he makes his way down the aisle to the front of the plane. Taking a deep breath, he follows the crowd down the gangway and out into the Heathrow International concourse.

* * *

><p>Brenda walks through Heathrow dodging other bodies as she heads to her gate. She can't help but think back a few weeks to the last time she was in this airport arriving in London heartbroken. But she has made it this far and she will make it even farther, the letter in her bag silently reminding her that she is well on her way. <em>I'm sure Dylan will be thrilled. Now he can pursue Kelly without having to worry about me…not that he would anyway.<em> She thinks bitterly. It took Brenda 3 weeks to stop crying herself to sleep every night, 3 weeks to feel like she wouldn't throw up every time she considered eating, 3 weeks to stop putting forth a fake front so no one, not even Donna, would suspect how devastated she really was. Now she is just angry; angry that she let him back into her life and that she got her hopes up. She is angry at herself more than Dylan because she should have known better than to trust him with her heart again. She has no one to blame but herself for feeling the way she has been feeling. _But no longer, _she thinks. _I'm going to do what's best for me for a change. Not what's best for Dylan or Kelly or Brandon. It's my time. _She sighs as she makes her way down the gangway and onto the plane headed for Dublin, Ireland and the first performance of many to come over the next week of travel.

* * *

><p>Donna hums to herself as she tries on her new dress. Smiling into the mirror she turns this way and that to make sure it is as she remembers it from the store. <em>Eat your heart out David Silver.<em> She giggles to herself as she hears a knock to the door, taking one last moment to smooth out her hair before she heads to the door and out to dinner. _It's a good thing Brenda and I made some new friends or I would be bored to tears while she is gone. And it doesn't hurt that the guys are so cute and those accents! _She giggles again as she opens the door wide to invite them in.

Donna gasps. "Dylan! What…..what…..ummmm…."

As nervous as he is, Donna's behavior calms him in a way he didn't expect. He laughs softly. "Hey Donna. Surprised to see me?" He looks past her into the room hoping to catch a glimpse of Brenda behind her and bracing himself for the fiery temper he expects to be the recipient of. Not seeing her, he glances back at Donna who still has not moved from her spot holding onto the doorknob with her mouth open wide. "Can I come in Don?" He asks hesitantly.

"Oh! Yeah, sure. Come in." He walks further into the room as Donna closes the door behind him and stands there wringing her hands, not sure what to say or what to expect. Dylan takes in the small living area and kitchen before turning back to face her. "Where is Brenda?" He asks softly.

Donna suddenly gets angry on Brenda's behalf and uses the anger she feels towards David right now to fuel that anger for Brenda. "What are you doing here?"

Dylan sighs. He should have expected anger especially after he ran into Steve ,who informed him why Donna took off to London in the middle of the night with Brenda. "I need to talk to her Donna." He says trying to appeal to her.

"If you really wanted to talk to Brenda you would have come weeks ago Dylan. She doesn't want to see you, she doesn't want to talk to you. And I don't blame her! You were a jerk Dylan. Just like in high school. I just never called you on it because it was already hard enough to be in the middle of Brenda and Kelly and I didn't want to be in the middle of anything else. But you know what? You don't deserve for Brenda to EVER talk to you again. So, why don't you just leave?"

Dylan takes a deep breath trying to stay calm because he knows what she is saying is true even if he doesn't want to hear it. "I need to see her Donna. Like it or not, its Brenda's choice whether she talks to me. I get that you are angry at me. I do. And I don't blame you, but I'm going to talk to her. I have to explain." He says evenly.

"Well that's just too bad. Brenda isn't here. She is out of town so you can leave now."

"Donna…." Before he can say more there is another knock on the door. Donna rushes over to open it and sees her friends waiting for her.

"Hey guys. I'm ready." She grabs her purse and turns back towards Dylan, holding the door wide for him. "Goodbye Dylan."

"I'm not leaving until I talk to Brenda."

Before Donna can say anything, one of the girls in the doorway laughs. "Wow, so are you going to stand there for the next week?" They all giggle and miss Donna's signals to stop talking.

"What do you mean for the next week?" He asks confused.

Donna sighs. "I told you Brenda isn't here Dylan. She is out of town. Please, leave." She says quietly.

Dylan walks numbly to the door as the group of girls standing there get quiet, realizing something isn't quite right. He squeezes past them and out into the hallway. With his back to them he stops. Turning back slowly, he looks at Donna and says softly, "I will be back Don. Tell Bren that when you talk to her." He turns and walks slowly down the hallway, to the stairs, and out of sight.


	15. Chapter 15 Hysteria and Heartbreak

_**Sorry if this is a little short. I know what I want to do next but it would make this chapter extremely long and this was a good stopping point. I will also apologize because I am terrible at titles. LOL Why I decided to title each chapter for this one I am completely clueless but since I did, don't be surprised if some of them have you scratching your head wondering why it makes little to no sense. In my scary brain it kinda does...most of the time. :=) Thanks for all the reviews and I hope you keep reading! **_

**C****hapter 15 Hysteria and Heartbreak **

Dylan walks slowly through the small park taking in the families pushing strollers along the path, the kids running through the grass laughing, but mostly the lovers walking slowly hand in hand enjoying the last few moments of the day before the sun sets in London. He sighs and looks at his watch and determinedly starts walking towards the flat Donna and Brenda are sharing. _Please let her be there_. Dylan has been hanging around for a week now waiting for Brenda to return from her trip and the day is finally here. He finally badgered Donna enough to at least get that much out of her even if she wouldn't give him details. His stride slows as the building comes into view. For once in his life, Dylan McKay is scared, scared Brenda won't listen and even if she does that it just won't matter. He has screwed up so many times it will be a miracle if she forgives him. He takes a deep breath as he walks through the door and up the stairs trying to calm his breathing before he hyperventilates. He knocks on the door and waits, perplexed when there is no answer. He knocks one more time. He turns to leave and sees a familiar brunette coming down the hallway with her head bent digging through her bag. Heart pounding, he takes in the sight of her, waiting for her to look up.

* * *

><p>Brenda's head comes up as she pulls her keys from her bag. She stops abruptly as she sees Dylan standing in front of her flat, her breath catching in her throat. She feels paralyzed to the spot, unsure whether to walk forward or run in the opposite direction; and even worse is knowing that in her heart, as much as she would protest to anyone who would listen, what she really wants to do is run to him and jump into his arms and never let go. <em>Stop it Brenda! Be strong!<em> She exhales and walks forward slowly coming to a stop in front of him.

"Bren." He whispers as his hand instinctively reaches out to caress her cheek, just needing to touch her, to know that she is real and finally standing in front of him. He has to force himself not to grab her and hold on tight.

Brenda swallows hard, "What are you doing here Dylan?" She asks almost coldly and Dylan's heart sinks. Even knowing she would react this way, it still hurts.

"I came for you Bren. I need to explain." He says softly.

"I don't want an explanation Dylan. Go back home to Kelly." She turns her back to him and opens her front door dragging her bag inside and letting it fall shut behind her. She knows Dylan caught it when she doesn't hear it slam shut behind her, but hears it slowly close. She closes her eyes briefly trying to gather her courage before turning around to see him standing just inside the flat watching her. "Just go Dylan." She says.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. Not until you let me explain. Brenda…." Before he can continue Brenda interrupts.

"Look, it doesn't matter. I don't want an explanation. I'm exhausted and I just want to shower and go to bed. An explanation isn't going to change anything." She says tiredly. Brenda knows she is almost at the end of her rope. She either has to get away from him quickly or sob in front of him, which she has no intention of doing. The sight of him may make her heart ache but it's the last thing she will willingly tell him.

"Bren…."

"Just get out!" She yells, knowing she is close to losing it and hearing the quivering in her voice.

Dylan pushes away from the door to walk over and stand in front of her.

"No." He says firmly. His hand reaches out to touch her again but he lets it drop to his side when he sees her visibly flinch. His heart clenches at the sight but he continues calmly. "I know you're tired. Go take your shower, get some sleep. But Bren, I will be here when you wake up. I'm not going anywhere."

Their eyes lock and Brenda feels the hysteria rising in her throat. She reaches down and grabs her bag off the floor and takes two steps backwards before turning and practically running to her room, closing the door behind her.

Dylan collapses on the sofa, gasping for breath. He closes his eyes_. I knew it would be hard but this….._he exhales, not even able to complete the thought, his heart breaking for both of them.


	16. Chapter 16 It's too late

_**Wow. This chapter kind of took on a life of its own. Fair warning BD fans, its kind of intense. Not exactly what I had originally planned but this is what came out so I hope it works. It was harder than I thought it would be to get Dylan's feelings down and to explain his reaction in words, but I hope it makes sense. I meant for this chapter to include more Donna as well as Dylan's explanation to Brenda about where he has been for the past few weeks but at almost 2200 words already I decided it might be a good idea to take care of that later. LOL **_

**Chapter 16 It's too late**

Dylan wakes to the smell of coffee. He sits up slowly and tries to stretch the kinks out of his back after a restless night on an uncomfortable sofa. He glances over at the kitchen area to see Donna sitting at the counter eating a bowl of cereal.

"Hey." He says softly. Donna looks at him but doesn't say a word. Beginning to feel uncomfortable, Dylan clears his throat. "Where's Bren?"

Donna gets up and rinses her bowl out before putting it in the dishwasher and turning back to face him. "She isn't up yet." She says quietly watching him closely.

Dylan nods and looks over at the coffeepot. "You mind?" he asks nodding in that direction. Donna shakes her head and watches as he walks over and picks up a mug from the sideboard and fills it up. Taking a sip, he turns back to see her staring at him. He drops his gaze back to the mug not sure what to say.

"Dylan?" Donna says quietly. "If Kelly is who you really want to be with, please leave now. Please."

Dylan sighs and looks Donna in the eyes. "I don't want Kelly Donna. I know I screwed up but Brenda is the one I want. She always has been."

He holds her gaze as Donna searches his eyes, searching…..for something. Suddenly, she smiles gently. "Don't hurt her again Dylan." She whispers. She touches his arm and walks past him into the bedroom.

He releases a breath he didn't even realize he was holding and leans against the counter to finish his coffee, knowing he needs all the fortification he can get to convince Brenda to listen.

"Is he still out there?" Brenda whispers to Donna as she walks into the room.

Donna nods her head as Brenda sighs and falls back on the bed. "Bren, I think he really is sorry about what happened. Why don't you at least listen to what he has to say."

"Donna, it doesn't matter if he is sorry. It still happened and if Dylan truly wanted to be with me where has he been? Why didn't he come find me immediately? I will tell you why. Because he had to wait until he was sure Brandon and Kelly were going to stay together. If they hadn't I guarantee you he would still be in Beverly Hills begging Kelly to take him back."

"I don't think so Bren." Donna tries to reason with her. "I really think…."

"Donna, I love you but I don't want to hear it okay?" Brenda says shortly trying not to get angry. Jeez, she thinks, 5 minutes in Dylan's company and even Donna is taking his side. "I'm going to shower." She jumps up and grabs her clothes from the dresser before walking across the hall to the bathroom, forcing herself not to look out into the living area to locate Dylan. She locks the door behind her and jumps under the hot spray hoping he will be gone when she gets out, while at the same time praying he will still be there. She sighs to herself, hating the conflicting emotions she is feeling.

Donna grabs her things and saying goodbye to Dylan decides to do some sightseeing while they talk things out, or at least she hopes they talk things out. She sighs to herself. _Love sucks_.

After 20 minutes, Brenda decides she can't hide in the shower any longer and gets out. She dresses and fixes her hair and makeup not wanting Dylan to see her until she looks as close to perfect as she can, at least on the outside. _He will never know what a basket case I am on the inside. _Walking out into the living room she looks up to see Dylan leaning against the kitchen counter staring at her over the top of his coffee mug. She takes a deep breath and forces herself to walk to the kitchen while trying to avoid his gaze. Just as she is about to brush past him, he picks up a second coffee mug from the counter and hands it to her. "I thought you might be ready for this." He says softly. She looks up and their eyes meet.

She takes the mug slowly. "Thanks." Brenda breaks his gaze and walks over to the couch to sit down uneasily. She feels more than sees Dylan walk up beside her and braces herself knowing how hard he is to resist for her especially when he is close.

Dylan sits down on the couch next to her, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees. "Bren." He whispers as he looks over at her, willing her to gaze his way. He sighs when she continues to look firmly at the floor. "I'm sorry." His voice cracks as he struggles to keep his composure long enough to try to get her to understand his feelings, his heart.

"Dylan." Brenda groans softly. "Please don't do this." She can feel the tears welling up in her eyes and tries to steel herself against them. The last thing she wants is for Dylan to see her cry.

"I have to Bren." He whispers as he turns to face her on the couch. He reaches over hesitantly and takes the coffee mug from her hands placing it on the coffee table. He takes both of her hands in his and his heart skips a beat as he gently caresses her hand with his thumb. He releases one hand to gently touch her chin and force her to look at him. As their eyes meet, he whispers with tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Brenda."

A lone tear runs down her cheek before she can stop it. Angry with herself for letting him see that weakness, she jerks her hands from his. "For what Dylan? For getting caught in a lie?" She asks snidely trying to hurt him as much as she is hurting.

Dylan flinches but knows he deserves worse. "No." He looks into her eyes, praying she can see the truth. "I'm sorry I hurt you. Again. I'm sorry you don't believe that I love you."

"Love?" Brenda laughs coldly. "If you want me to believe you Dylan, why don't you be honest and call it what it was. Lust. I threw myself at you like an idiot and you just took what was offered. Kelly was gone and you needed a bed partner until she came running back."

Dylan gasps at the crudeness of her comment. "That's not true."

"Yeah right Dylan." She gets up from the couch and stands over him. Dylan stands slowly to face her. "Fine." She spits out angrily. "You apologized. Now you can have a clear conscience when you get back to Beverly Hills. Good bye Dylan." She turns to walk to the door.

Dylan grabs her arm firmly. "No." He takes a deep breath trying to stay calm, knowing he can't allow his own words to escalate if he wants to convince her he is sincere. "It was more than lust and you know that Bren. Deep in your heart you know." He pulls her gently back onto the couch keeping her hand in his, needing that connection to her, and knowing he may have to hold her down bodily to get her to let him finish saying what he needs to say. "When you walked into my house that night it was like a dream come true." He says softly, smiling at the memory. "I knew I wanted another chance for us but I was so scared Bren, so scared that you didn't. You had already told me once the day on the pier that you just wanted to be my friend and I had hurt you so badly before that I wanted you to have only what you wanted. I had resigned myself to being just a friend. I knew I didn't deserve anything more after everything."

Brenda bites her lip as she watches Dylan's face and remembers that day. She had wanted to kiss him so badly but was so afraid of being hurt again she turned him down before he could do anything. She has to force herself not to reach out and hold him close. Seeing Dylan vulnerable always punches her in the heart no matter how angry she is.

"You asked me to give you something to come back to and I wanted you so badly. I missed you so much. And that night was magic. It was like we were the only two people in the world. I could finally breathe again. I woke up the next morning praying it was real and that I didn't dream it. I couldn't wait to see you again so I rushed to get to your house scared to death that you would figure out that you deserved better before I could get there. When we made love again and I told you I loved you it felt so good to be able to say it out loud, to hold you in my arms while I said it. Then we heard that door slam." He sighs as he looks down remembering that moment. He squeezes her hand in his and lifts her fingers to his mouth kissing them gently. Looking back into her eyes, he takes a deep breath and continues. "We walked down those stairs and saw Brandon and Kelly and I had a million things running through my mind. I had braced myself to walk into that room and see your dad. When Brandon and Kelly started coming down on us for being there together, Bren, I swear to you I just lost it for a minute. I didn't care what Kelly thought and I still don't. I just lost it. I got angry and I didn't stop to think of how it would sound. I knew as soon as it came out that it wasn't what I meant to say. They just made me so angry."

Brenda breaks in as she jerks her hands from his. "Dylan if you didn't care what Kelly thought you wouldn't have been so upset. Admit it. You still love Kelly. You got mad because she was choosing Brandon and throwing it in your face. I get it. You didn't mean to say what you did even if it is what you meant. Fine." She says wearily. "You apologized. I accept your apology. You and Brandon can fight over Kelly all you want without worrying about me. Just don't expect me to be there to watch it." She turns away from him trying hard to keep the tears at bay a bit longer.

Dylan exhales loudly. He reaches over and puts his hands on her shoulders pulling her back to him. "Bren, you aren't listening to me. I don't want Kelly. I want you." Dylan can hear the pleading in his own voice, knowing that for this woman he is willing to beg. "Please. Hear me. I love you Brenda. I don't want to lose you again. Let me make it up to you. Please. I will do anything."

Brenda can't take anymore. She wants to believe him so badly but she is so afraid to open herself up to him once again. If he changes his mind again and goes running back to Kelly she truly believes it will destroy her this time. She just can't take that kind of chance, not again. She begins to sob. Dylan pulls her into his arms holding her tightly and running his hands up and down her back soothingly. "Shh…oh baby, please don't cry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispers over and over and places light kisses on top her head. Finally, Brenda pulls back to look up at him. He wipes her tear stained cheek with his finger. He leans closer.

Brenda pulls away and wraps her arms around herself. "I can't Dylan. I can't."

"Bren." He whispers sadly.

"It's too late."

"Don't say that!" Dylan closes his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself down. "It can't be too late. I won't accept that. I know you need some time. Fine. I will give you that if you need it but when you get back to Beverly Hills, I will be there….waiting. I won't give up Brenda."

Brenda sinks into the chair behind her and looks at the ground. "I'm not going back to Beverly Hills Dylan."

Dylan's eyes grow wide and he gapes at her. "What?"

"I was offered a full scholarship to RADA. I'm taking it Dylan. I'm sorry. I love you but I just don't think I can trust you with my heart again and I won't give up this opportunity for something that I can't trust will last." Tears running down her cheeks, Brenda stands up and walks towards her bedroom. "Goodbye Dylan." She whispers before walking into to room and closing the door behind her leaves Dylan standing in shock.


	17. Chapter 17 Unexpected Reactions

**Chapter 17 Unexpected Reactions**

Brenda lays on her bed, tear tracks visible on her face. After 2 days of trying her best to convince herself and Donna she made the right decision, she put Donna on a plane back to Beverly Hills and came back to her flat to wallow in her own misery. _Why do I let him do this to me? When will I finally stop loving Dylan McKay?_ _Obviously, I made the right decision. If he really meant it would he have just left? Wouldn't he have fought harder? Who am I kidding? He didn't fight for me after the Baja fiasco, why would he now? _Brenda groans in frustration. _Stop it Brenda! _Hearing a knock on the door she sighs and walks slowly over, money in hand, to pay for the pizza she ordered. Swinging the door open without bothering to check the peephole, Brenda gasps loudly. "Dylan! What…..What….. I….." She can't seem to get a full sentence out she is so shocked to see him. She really thought he caught the first flight back to Beverly Hills, back to Kelly.

Dylan takes in the image of her, noting the tear tracks. "Hey Bren." He says quietly. "Can I come in?"

Brenda hesitates then finally opens the door wider motioning him inside. Dylan steps in and looks around. They stare at each other in silence both almost afraid to talk at this point. Finally, Brenda looks away and walks to the small kitchen area. "You want something to drink?"

"Sure, whatever you are having is fine." He responds, nerves making his voice quiver a bit. Brenda walks out and hands him a bottle of water before sitting in the chair and looking down at the floor. Dylan walks over slowly and sits on the edge of the couch closest to her, watching her as she tries not to look at him. He sighs silently, praying she listens before she throws him out. Deciding to work up to what he really wants to tell her, he asks slowly, "So, Donna isn't here?"

"No, she left this morning for Beverly Hills." Brenda looks up and their eyes catch, she looks back down quickly scared that she won't be able to hold firm if she looks in his eyes. "I thought you would be back there by now." She says softly.

Dylan swallows hard. _So much for small talk to build up to it._ "No, I just had a few things to take care of." He says trying to sound nonchalant.

Brenda looks up at him sharply. "What kind of things?"

Dylan gives her that half smile that makes her heart clench before taking a quick sip from his water bottle. "Setting up a new bank account, finding a place to live, just the normal stuff you have to do when you move thousands of miles from home." He says softly staring at her.

Brenda almost drops her water. Her eyes grow wide and she can't speak for a moment as she meets his eyes. She lowers her gaze back the floor. Finally, she catches the breath she didn't even realize she was holding. "What are you talking about Dylan?" She whispers, scared that he means what she thinks and even more scared that he doesn't.

Suddenly, he is on his knees in front of her. His finger touches her chin and gently forces her to look up at him. "I told you that I would give you time Bren and that I would be waiting. If you aren't coming back to Beverly Hills then I will wait here. I won't lose you again. Not without a fight." The last is said with firm conviction.

Brenda closes her eyes as tears slowly spill down her cheek. "Dylan…." She stops not sure what to say. Brenda is so scared to say yes but it is killing her to say no. Dylan gently wipes the tears from her cheek. "Don't cry Bren." He says gently. He pulls her to him holding her close, enjoying the feel of her head on his chest. He rubs his hands up and down her back trying to comfort her. She pulls away and they gaze at each other. Dylan slowly leans forward giving her every opportunity to pull away. Brenda sits frozen. Just as Dylan's lips touch hers, a knock at the door startles them both and Brenda jerks away from him. She stands up quickly. Dylan exhales loudly as she walks to the door and pays the delivery person for her pizza. He stands up and faces her as she walks back. Clearing his throat, he tries hard to restrain himself from grabbing her and kissing her with everything he has, but he knows deep down that will push her farther away. _You told her you would give her time, Dylan. For once, be the man she needs you to be and honor that._

_"_I better let you eat your dinner. I will see you soon?" He says although it comes out more as a question.

Brenda nods her head, biting her lip, without saying a word. Dylan walks slowly towards the door. Just as his hand reaches the doorknob he hears, "Dylan?" He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before turning slowly to see her standing in the same spot he left her. "Do you want to stay for dinner?" Brenda asks hesitantly. He smiles. "Yeah, I would like that." She smiles back. Setting the pizza on the coffee table, she walks to the kitchen to get plates and sodas for them. Dylan sighs in relief. That first step gives him hope that he can convince Brenda to give him another chance, even if it is just pizza for now.

Brenda hands him a plate and a soda and sits back in the chair. They eat quietly laughing every once in a while at some crazy show on TV even though neither of them really know what is going on. They are too aware of each other to really concentrate on anything else too much.

"So, where did you find a flat?" She finally asks curiously.

Dylan grins. "Did you know there is a flat identical to this one available upstairs?" He stops and frowns before smirking at her, "Well, at least it was available until yesterday." Brenda laughs. They spend the next hour making small talk until Dylan notices Brenda trying to smother a yawn.

"I better let you get some sleep. I would hate for you to turn into a pumpkin in your own living room." He chuckles.

Brenda grins back. "Sorry, I guess I am a bit tired. It's been a long week." She finishes on a sigh as she loses her grin and looks down at the ground.

"Yeah, it has." Dylan responds softly. He stands up and holds his hand out to her. She takes his hand and he pulls her to her feet and without thinking too hard about it he pulls her into his arms and hugs her tightly. "Thanks for dinner Bren." He whispers into her hair inhaling the scent that is uniquely Brenda. After several seconds, they pull away.

Brenda leans forward and kisses him on the cheek very softly. "Good night Dylan." He smiles and walks to the door. Turning to see her once more, he opens the door and walks out backwards keeping his eyes on her until the door closes behind him. Brenda falls backwards on the couch and groans. Of every reaction she could have imagined from Dylan, she never expected this and she doesn't have any idea where things will go from here. She smiles to herself. _I guess I will find out. _

Dylan walks upstairs to his new flat. He has no furniture yet beyond a bed so he walks straight through to his bedroom and falls down on the bed with a huge grin on his face. _It's going to work out. _His grin fades._ It has to._ He falls asleep thinking of Brenda.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi everyone. Sorry for the delay in getting a new chapter up. But I FINALLY had time and a bit of inspiration so here it is. ****Obviously, as I am sure you have already figured out, anything in italics is things Dylan and/or Brenda are thinking but not verbalized. Also, you will notice there is no title for this chapter. Sorry about that but my brain just is not functioning well enough right now. LOL If I come up with a good one I will add it but for now, didn't want you to have to wait any longer for the chapter just to get a title for it. If you really really prefer titles then you can let me know and next time I will hold the chapter until I come up with a suitable one. ;=) **

Chapter 18

Brenda stands in the hallway and takes a deep breath. Letting it out, she knocks on Dylan's door before she l oses her nerve. She shifts on her feet nervously waiting to see if he is home. As she raises her hand to knock a second time, the door opens. Dylan breaks into an immediate grin. "Brenda! Hi." They stare at each other for several seconds in silence. Finally, Brenda clears her throat and holds out the package in her arms. "I thought I would bring up a housewarming gift. You know, new apartment and all." She smiles shyly at him. He reaches out to take it, never taking his eyes off her face, almost as if he is memorizing her. Suddenly, he realizes she is still standing in the hallway. _Nice Dylan._ "Thanks. You want to come in?" Brenda bites her lip as she hesitates. She is still not sure how to act around Dylan right now. He has only been in London for a week and she has been so busy they have barely seen each other beyond chatting in the hallway when they meet on the way out or coming in. Dylan waits silently, not wanting to push but desperately hoping she says yes.

"Are you sure you aren't too busy?" She asks softly.

"For you? Never." He responds matter of factly. "Come on in." He steps back and opens the door wider for her to enter. They walk into the living area and sit on the couch, the only piece of furniture besides a coffee table.

They sit quietly for a second, neither knowing how to break the uncomfortable silence. This is totally new territory for both of them.

"Well, aren't you going to open your present?" Brenda finally chides him with a small grin. He grins back at her.

"You really didn't have to get me anything Bren." He begins ripping off the paper. Opening the box, he begins to laughs out loud as Brenda joins him. He pulls out a set of very loudly colored towels depicting double decker London buses. "I should have known. I think you have given me towels from every place you have ever visited."

Brenda smiles, secretly pleased he remembers what started out as a gag gift when they first started dating. She has gotten him towels from Palm Springs, Yosemite, Baja, Paris, and even from the Beverly Hills Beach Club. "Well, it wouldn't be right if you didn't have something gaudy from London to add to the collection."

"Thanks Bren." He leans over and kisses her on the cheek. "So you want the grand tour?"

"Sure."

Dylan stands up and holds out his hand for hers. Brenda looks up at him for a moment before placing her hand in his and allowing him to pull her up. Dylan keeps her hand firmly in his as he walks her around the small flat, enjoying the feeling of even that small touch. "This is the gourmet kitchen, " He says, tongue in cheek, of the small kitchen that is barely big enough for the two of them to stand in together. Pulling her behind him, he walks through the living area they just sat in, "Entertaining space." He motions towards the couch as Brenda giggles. "Luxury bathroom." He points to the barely 4 foot by 4 foot bathroom." He grins as Brenda rolls her eyes, laughing at him. Dylan only turns into a ham around her and she knows it. "And finally, the master suite." He opens the door with a flourish.

Brenda's breath hitches as her eyes land on the only piece of furniture in the small room, the bed. Her laugh catches in her throat and she has to clear it to speak. "Not much for decorating are you McKay?" She smirks.

He laughs loudly. "Just be glad it's clean Bren." He turns and they make their way back to the living room and sit back on the couch. Dylan turns sideways so he is facing her. He reaches up and pushes her hair behind her ear so he can see her profile clearly. "I was hoping you might stop by one day and I didn't want it to be a mess." He says softly. Brenda looks up and their eyes meet, both waiting to see if the other is going to make a move. Dylan takes a deep breath. "So, Ms. Walsh. You, ummm….you have any plans for this evening?"

Brenda looks back down at the ground, needing to break eye contact before she says, or does, too much. "Just studying. I have a dialogue due tomorrow morning and I am not even close to being ready." She sighs softly. "Actually, I should probably get back to it." She stands quickly and walks towards the door with Dylan following. He sticks his hands in his pockets, afraid that if he doesn't he will give in to his desire to grab her and not let her go. _Patience Dylan. She said she needed time. Don't push. _

"Thanks for the present Bren."

She smiles softly. "You're welcome. I'll see you later?"

Dylan swallows hard, not wanting her to leave without knowing when he will see her again. This week of "accidentally" running into each other in the hallway has been hard, so hard in fact he had taken to walking back and forth through the hallway at times he even thought she might be walking into the building or out of it. "Yeah. I'll see you." He responds quietly. As she opens the door and starts to turn, he reaches out to touch her shoulder. "Bren? When?" He mentally groans and chastises himself. _Dammit Dylan, what happened to patience? _

Brenda turns back to face him and his hand falls back to his side. "When what Dylan?" she asks confused.

"When can I see you again?" He holds his breath as he waits for her answer.

Brenda stands silent for a minute, biting her lip, debating. Finally, she looks into his eyes. "Some friends invited me to a dance club tomorrow night. You could come with us…..if you want to?"

"Yeah. I'd like that." He says quickly. _Ugh! A group outing? Whatever it takes Dylan, take whatever she offers. _The smile she gives him makes saying yes worth it.

"Great. Meet me at my apartment at 8?"

"I'll be there." He leans forward and kisses her softly on the forehead. "Goodnight Bren. Don't study too hard."

"Good night Dylan." Brenda smiles softly as she turns and walks down the hallway to the stairs, turning back once to see him watching her until she is out of sight.

* * *

><p>Brenda digs through her closet frantically looking for just the right outfit for a night out. <em>It's not a date Brenda! <em>Knowing that in her head doesn't help. Dylan will be there so she has got to look her best. Pulling out a short red halter dress she contemplates for a moment. _Perfect! __Dylan hasn't seen this one. _It's one of the outfits she bought on a shopping excursion with Donna right after they arrived in London. It took almost all of her weekly allowance but she fell in love with it and hadn't had a chance to wear it yet. Just as she lays it on the bed to begin dressing, the phone rings. Sighing, Brenda runs for the phone. "Hello." She asks rather abruptly hoping the person on the other end gets the clue that she is rushed and doesn't have time for chatting. Dylan will be here in an hour and Brenda still has lots to do to get prepared for that, not only physically getting dressed and made up but mentally preparing for a night out with Dylan McKay.

"Bren?"

"Brandon is that you?" She says smiling. As much as they have gotten on each other's nerves over the last couple of years, she has missed her brother more than she ever thought she would.

"How ya doing Bren?"

"I'm good. Just getting ready for a night on the town. What's up Brandon? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" She asks knowing it's morning in Beverly Hills.

"My class was cancelled today so I'm just hanging out at home. Just waiting until Steve comes and drags me to some KEG party he is forcing me to go to."

Brenda frowns. Brandon sounds like he is trying too hard to be upbeat and happy, but she knows her brother too well. "What's wrong Brandon? Is everything okay with mom and dad?"

"Mom and dad are fine. Everything is fine. Just another day in paradise little sister." He tries to shrug it off. "How are you enjoying the big city of London?"

"London is great. How is everyone else there Brandon?" Brenda asks quickly trying to get an idea of what is really going on. Brandon really doesn't sound too good.

"Everyone is good. We all miss you of course. Donna came back with all kinds of nice things to say about London but I know she misses you. David is trying to convince her to take him back but she is holding firm. Steve is….well Steve is Steve. You know how he is. I haven't seen Dylan in a few weeks; I figure he's probably surfing it up in Baja. But enough about this place. When exactly are you planning on inviting your better half to visit sis?" He jokes, albeit rather dejectedly. Brenda keeps quiet. Obviously, Dylan hasn't told anyone where he is and she isn't going to give it away until she talks to him, not even to Brandon, especially since she still isn't sure what is going to happen….and she knows beyond a doubt how her dad will feel about it.

"You are welcome to come anytime Brandon. I would love that." Brenda hesitates before finally asking softly. "What about Kelly, Brandon?"

"What about her Bren?" Brandon responds with a deep sigh.

"You didn't mention her when you were telling me about everyone. Did something happen?" Brenda bites her lip as she waits in silence for Brandon to answer.

With another sigh he finally does. "We broke up. I'm not really sure what Kelly is doing right now. For all I know she is waiting on Dylan to come back to town." Brandon grumbles. Brenda bites her lip. She wants to be able to reassure her brother but isn't sure she can when it comes to Kelly and Dylan.

"Oh Brandon, what happened?"

"It just didn't work out Bren. I don't think Kelly knows what she wants right now but it's definitely not me." He says sharply.

"I'm sorry Brandon." Brenda says sadly. "Is there anything I can do? Have you talked to her about how you feel?"

"Thanks Bren. There really isn't anything you can do and at this point, I don't think talking to Kelly will do any good. I think I just need to concentrate on school and whatever happens, happens. Look, I just wanted to call and say hi. I better get off here before mom and dad have to take out a second mortgage to pay the phone bill." They both laugh.

"It's good to talk to you Brandon. I'm sorry I'm not there to help you through this but you will be okay. I'm sure Kelly will come to her senses." She tries to reassure him.

"Yeah. Well, we'll see. It's good to talk to you to Bren. I miss you." Brandon says softly.

"I miss you too Brandon." Brenda sniffs as tears start to fill her eyes. "Call me if you need to talk okay?"

"I will. Have fun sis. But not too much you hear? We do expect you to come back to Beverly Hills one day." He quips. "Bye Brenda."

"Bye Brandon." Brenda hangs up the phone slowly. She closes her eyes as she falls back on her bed. _Kelly broke up with Brandon. Does she want Dylan back? More importantly, will Dylan run back to Kelly when he finds out? _A lone tear rolls down Brenda's cheek and her heart aches not only for her brother but at the thought of telling Dylan about the breakup. _But I have to. Before things go any farther. If we get closer and he leaves me for Kelly again, I think it will kill me. _Brenda sighs and drags herself off her bed to finish getting ready for a night out with her friends…and Dylan. _It's going to be an interesting night._


	19. Chapter 19 I Wont Give Up

Dylan nervously paces his flat waiting until he can walk downstairs to meet Brenda. He wants this night to be perfect. He will be meeting Brenda's new friends soon and wants to make a good impression. The last thing he needs is to have them against him. Brenda will never take him back if her new friends feel the same about their relationship as their old friends and particularly if they feel the way her dad does.

Finally, looking at his watch he notes that it's now 7:50. _Close enough. _

He grabs his keys off the table and walks out, heading downstairs. _Gotta calm down, Dylan. Be cool. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I am too nervous to be calm. _

He knocks on the door and waits, fidgeting.

Brenda hears the knock and takes a final look in the bathroom mirror. She takes a deep breath and walks out to the front door trying to calm her nerves on the short walk. Taking one more deep breath to calm her shaky nerves, she turns the knob and opens it to see Dylan standing on the other side in a pair of dark jeans and a black button up shirt, just a touch of his white t-shirt visible underneath.

"Hey you." She says as she opens the door wide for him to walk in. "I just have to grab my bag and we can go." She looks at him closely. He doesn't move or even speak. "Dylan? Is everything ok?" She asks worriedly. _Does he already know about Kelly and Brandon?_

Dylan clears his throat trying to breathe. He looks her up and down. "Wow. Bren…."

"Is something wrong?" She looks down at her outfit, afraid he is seeing something wrong that she didn't see.

He coughs. "No, not at all." Looking her up and down once again, he exhales loudly. "You look amazing." He whispers. Their eyes meet and the stare becomes almost uncomfortable before Brenda forces herself to turn away to grab her purse. Looking back to find him still staring at her, she grins nervously. "Thanks. Let's get out of here." She grabs him by the hand and pulls him down the hallway to the stairs.

* * *

><p>Walking into the crowded club, they stand near the door as Brenda searches the tables for her friends. "Brenda! Over here!" She finally hears. She grins and looks at Dylan before dragging him behind her to squeeze in with the group from RADA.<p>

"Hey guys!" She says with a grin. They all respond while casting curious glances at Dylan, who sits down next to Brenda.

"And who are you, handsome?" A blonde sitting on his other side says seductively as she runs her finger up his arm. Dylan looks at Brenda startled. He isn't a stranger to being hit on, but for all this girl knows he could be Brenda's boyfriend! Brenda rolls her eyes as Dylan attempts to move away from the blonde and closer to Brenda without being too obvious.

"Guys, this is Dylan. Dylan, these are some friends of mine from RADA." She begins pointing at each person in turn, starting to her right. "Sara, Jenna, Jake, Andy, and" She reaches over and pointedly moves the blonde's hand from his arm with a smirk. "Tara." Tara shrugs with a grin.

"Sorry." She smirks back at Brenda before looking pointedly at Dylan. "I'm going to go dance if anyone wants to join me?" Dylan looks down at the table, grateful when the waitress speaks from behind him. "Can I get anyone a drink?" Tara shrugs again and walks towards the dance floor.

Brenda looks at Dylan uncomfortably. "I'll have a coke." She tells the waitress.

"The same." Dylan says still watching Brenda. She smiles at him causing his heart to leap in his chest. _If that is all it takes to get her to smile at me, I am in. _

The rest of the table order drinks and begin talking loudly and over each other as they laugh. Dylan listens to their conversations about everyday life at RADA. Mostly, though, he just watches Brenda. He has missed her so much. Dylan knows he will have to pull out all the stops to get her to give him another chance. He just has to figure out how. Suddenly, he gets an idea. He leans close and whispers in her ear, "I'll be right back okay?" Brenda turns and looks at him concerned. "Everything okay?" She turns to him and whispers back.

He smiles and reaches up touch her cheek, pushing her hair away from her face. "Everything is fine. Be right back." He feels her watching him as he walks through the crowd and then out of sight.

Brenda tries going back to the conversation she was previously having with her friends but is not really paying attention. Dylan has her worried. _Is he going to get a drink? _Her breath catches at the next crazy thought crossing her mind. _Could he be calling Kelly from the bar? GGRRR….stop it Brenda. I've gotta tell him before __**that**__ drives me crazy. _

"Brenda?" Jenna says softly. "Are you okay? You are a million miles away, I think."

Sara giggles, "Or maybe she is just across the room? Tell us about Dylan, Brenda. He is adorable. Where did you meet him and if you don't want him can I have him?" She teases.

Brenda blushes and looks at Sara as Jenna groans. "Sara! Good grief. You are almost as bad as Tara. Leave Brenda's guy alone."

"Hey, if the guy is too crazy to see what a gem our Brenda is, he deserves Tara. Don't worry Brenda. If he takes a leap at Tara, I will be here to help you get over it." Jake says with a smirk, one too many drinks are making him punchy and he can't hide the mini-crush he has had on Brenda since they met.

Brenda has to laugh at all of them. "Sorry, guys. It's a long story but Dylan is actually my….." She hesitates, trying to think of how to explain Dylan to her new friends. "He's my ex-boyfriend."

Jenna looks at her closely, the pieces finally clicking into place. Jenna and Brenda had become very close in the first days of the RADA summer program and she had hung out with Brenda and Donna almost daily. She didn't know all the details but she had heard enough to know that Dylan was not only Brenda's ex-boyfriend but Brenda's ex-best friend's boyfriend as well and that Brenda was a bit freaked out when he showed up in London and moved into the flat above hers. "That's THE Dylan?" She asks softly, watching Brenda closely.

Brenda takes a quick sip of her coke the waitress had just sat in front of her before looking back up to see all eyes on her. "Yes, that's Dylan." She responds quietly, not sure what else to say. Jenna is the only one who has any idea who he is and Brenda doesn't want to get into it right now, especially after the call from Brandon. After a few seconds of silence, Sara gets up and heads to the dance floor. Jenna moves over to sit next to Brenda, leaving Jake and Andy talking sports. Jenna reaches over and puts her hand on Brenda's. "Are you okay?" She asks softly.

Brenda sighs. "I don't know." She hesitates but she really needs to talk to someone and she knows Jenna won't mention it again if she asks her not to. "I got a call from my brother right before I left to come here. He and Kelly broke up. I don't know if Dylan knows or not. If he doesn't I have to tell him and I guess I'm just….I'm afraid as soon as he hears it he will be on the next plane back to Beverly Hills. UUUGGGGHHH. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid by staying in London and I am still having to deal with it." Brenda lets her head hit the table, fighting the urge to scream.

She feels a hand touch her back. "Bren? You okay?" Dylan asks concerned. Brenda catches Jenna's eyes as she jerks her head up. Jenna gives her a reassuring smile.

"Oh, hey, I didn't hear you come back." Brenda says quickly as he sits on the edge of his seat next to her, concern in his eyes. "I'm fine." She tries to smile but doesn't think she pulls it off.

Dylan looks at her closely for a minute trying to read her. "Okay. If you're sure." Taking her hand in his, he stands up. "Dance with me?" He asks softly.

Brenda looks at him a bit confused, "To this?" The DJ has been playing hip hop since they walked in the door, not exactly Dylan's type of music.

He grins, "Come on." He pulls her up and she follows him to the dance floor. As they reach the edge of the floor, the song ends and a new song starts. Brenda looks up at Dylan with surprise as a slow song begins. He puts his arms around her waist and pulls her close. "How did you…" she begins. Dylan smiles at her. "Shh….just dance with me." He whispers in her ear. Brenda puts her head on his chest, enjoying the feel of his arms holding her close.

_***When I look into your eyes**_

_**It's like watching the night sky **_

_**Or a beautiful sunrise **_

_**Well there's so much they hold**_

_**And just like them old stars**_

_**I see that you've come so far **_

_**To be right where you are **_

_**How old is your soul? **_

Dylan pulls away slightly and Brenda looks up to see him looking down at her. Their eyes lock and her heart jumps at the intensity of his stare, as she catches the words to the chorus.

_**I won't give up on us **_

_**Even if the skies get rough**_

_**I'm giving you all my love**_

_**I'm still looking up **_

Dylan softly runs his finger down the side of her face to her chin.

_**And when you're needing your space**_

_**To do some navigating**_

_**I'll be here patiently waiting**_

_**To see what you find  
>'Cause even the stars they burn<strong>_

_**Some even fall to the earth**_

_**We've got a lot to learn**_

_**God knows we're worth it **_

_**No, i won't give up **_

His fingers lightly graze her lips as they continue to stare at each other, in their own world.

_**I don't wanna be someone **_

_**Who walks away so easily **_

_**I'm here to stay and make the difference that i can make**_

_**Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got **_

_**Yeah we got a lot at stake **_

_**And in the end, you're still my friend**_

_**At least we did intend for us to work **_

_**We didn't break, we didn't burn**_

_**We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in**_

_**I had to learn what i got, and what I'm not and who I am **_

Dylan pulls her against him and softly begins to sing in her ear.

_**I won't give up on us **_

_**Even if the skies get rough**_

_**I'm giving you all my love**_

_**I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up  
>I won't give up (No I'm not) on us (Giving up) <strong>_

_**God knows I'm tough (I am tough), he knows (I am loved) **_

_**We got a lot (We're alive) to learn (We are loved) **_

_**God knows we're worth it (And we're worth it)  
><strong>_

Brenda pulls back from him slightly to look at him and he sees tears in her eyes. Slowly, giving her time to pull away, Dylan touches his lips to hers as the song slowly begins to fade away.

_**I won't give up on us **_

_**Even if the skies get rough**_

_**I'm giving you all my love**_

_**I'm still looking up  
><strong>_

Pulling back to look into her eyes once again, Dylan touches his forehead to hers and whispers, "I won't give up on us, Bren."

*I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz


	20. Chapter 20 Where I want to be

Chapter 20

Another slow song begins to play in the background as Dylan keeps his arms tightly around Brenda and they sway together. Brenda takes a deep breath bracing herself, as she looks up into Dylan's eyes. She bites her lip, scared to death that the love she sees in his eyes will change when she tells him what she knows she has to tell him.

"Bren?" He whispers, concerned at the look on her face. His heart clenches, worried she is about to tell him it's too late, that she **has** given up on them.

Brenda hesitates. She reaches to caress his cheek, memorizing him. She subconsciously licks her lips and her heart skips a beat as Dylan's eyes darken and his finger traces her mouth softly. She leans forward and touches her lips to his one more time, softly at first. His hand on her back tightens as he pulls her into his body as close as he can and holds her there, his tongue now following the path on her lips that his finger had taken just seconds ago before. Brenda moans as he deepens the kiss and their tongues duel for dominance. Brenda pulls away suddenly before they can get further lost in each other and forget that they are in a crowded bar. She closes her eyes and sighs. Dylan's hand caresses her back while the other plays with her hair.

"Dylan, I talked to Brandon tonight." She says slowly, looking up into his eyes.

"Hhmm…." Is Dylan's only response as he gazes at her, taking in her beauty and trying to control his breathing and his hormones. That kiss almost was his undoing.

"I think there is something you should know." She whispers.

"Ok." He whispers back as he continues to get lost in her eyes. His fingers lightly graze her cheek and down to her lips while he stares at her. Brenda sighs.

"Kelly and Brandon broke up." She looks down, her eyes resting on his chest as she whispers. She swallows hard.

His hand continues to move across her back slowly while the other one cups the side of her head, his fingers rubbing against her ear. Brenda looks up at him slowly when she gets no verbal response. Their gazes meet. "Did you hear me?" She asks, concerned that he didn't since he isn't saying anything.

Dylan stares into her eyes and continues to caress her and hold her close. "Hmm…." He says rather distractedly knowing Brenda is waiting on a response, but his mind keeps going back to that kiss. At this point, Dylan is concentrating hard on controlling himself and it isn't working well. He leans in closer and buries his face in her neck, breathing in the scent that is so uniquely Brenda. "Is Brandon okay?" He whispers in her ear before gently nibbling her earlobe.

Brenda gasps lightly at the feel of his teeth and lips on her ear. She closes her eyes and moans softly. "Ummmm….I….uuhhhh….I think so." She stutters. The sensation Dylan is creating causing butterflies in her stomach to the point that she can't speak clearly.

"Good." He whispers again as he moves his head down slightly to kiss her neck just below her ear.

Suddenly, the music changes and the hip hop beat startles them both. Brenda pulls away, pushing against his chest with her hand and taking a deep breath. Dylan looks at her longingly and allows her to put a couple of inches between them reluctantly. Their eyes meet and he gives her a sexy half grin. "You want to get out of here?" He says softly. Brenda nods and they walk silently back to the table and say a quick goodbye to her friends.

They head to the door and walk out onto the sidewalk and start the short walk back to the flat. Dylan grabs Brenda's hand in his and brings it up to his mouth, kissing her fingers, before grasping it to his chest and rubbing his thumb against her soft skin. As they reach Brenda's door, she leans back against it and finally gets the nerve to speak again. "Dylan?" He continues to caress her fingers with his. She looks at the ground then back up to see him looking almost mesmerized by the sight of her hand in his. "You did hear me back at the club right?" She says hesitantly, still not sure he is grasping what she told him. "About Kelly and Brandon?"

He looks up at her finally, breaking his gaze from their entwined fingers. "Yeah. But you said Brandon was okay. Are you really worried about him?"

Brenda frowns. "Maybe a little but…" She is unsure at this point where to carry the conversation. Dylan is definitely not responding in any way she imagined.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Dylan asks. She bites her lip. "What is it Bren?" He finally realizes there is more going on than just Brenda's concern for her twin.

"What about Kelly?" She asks quietly as she braces herself for his answer.

"What about her?" Dylan asks confused.

"Do you…." Brenda swallows the lump in her throat trying to get the words out. "She…" She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens them again to look up into his eyes. "Kelly is free Dylan. She isn't dating Brandon anymore."

Dylan looks at her bewildered. "Riiiight." He drags the word out, trying to figure out where the conversation is going. Brenda exhales loudly and looks up at the ceiling in frustration. "Bren, I'm sorry. I'm missing something here. What exactly is it that has you so upset?"

"Kelly is _free." _She emphasizes. "Are you going back to Beverly Hills for her?" Brenda finally just blurts it out then holds her breath waiting for the worst.

Dylan blinks and pulls back from her. "What?" He asks stunned. "Why would I do that?"

"Because she isn't dating Brandon anymore. You can be together." Brenda flinches as she says it and looks back at the ground.

Dylan sighs. He touches her chin gently, urging her to look at him. As their eyes meet, he smiles at her tenderly. He leans forward and lightly brushes her lips with his. "I am exactly where I want to be. With you." He murmurs before capturing her lips again with his own.


	21. Chapter 21 Just Romance

Chapter 21

Brenda runs in her front door and grabs the phone, breathless. "Hello? Hello?"

"Bren?"

Her face instantly breaks into a grin. "Dylan. Hi."

"I was wondering if you have plans tonight? I thought maybe we could have dinner?"

"Actually, I am free. I would love to have dinner. "

"Great." Brenda can hear the smile in Dylan's voice through the phone. "I'll pick you up in an hour? Does that work?"

"I'll be ready. "

"See you soon Bren." Brenda is giddy as she hangs up the phone. Then her face turns to a look of horror. "An hour? Oh my gosh!" She runs to her bedroom to jump in the shower.

* * *

><p>The doorbell rings as Brenda is putting the finishing touches on her makeup. She hops on each foot trying to get her shoes on as she makes her way to the door. She finally gets to the door and opens it to see Dylan standing in front of her with a dozen roses. He hands them to her with a grin. "For you." He says softly.<p>

Brenda grins back. "Dylan, they are beautiful." She lifts the roses to smell their fragrance and breathes it in deeply.

"Not as beautiful as you." He responds as he looks her up and down. Brenda's smile gets bigger. She had stuck with the classic little black dress because she had no idea where they were going for dinner and she had worried it was too much or maybe not enough; _as long as Dylan keeps looking at me this way, who cares where dinner is, she thinks to herself. _

"Thanks. You look quite handsome yourself, Mr. McKay." She flirts back. Stepping back she motions him into the apartment. "Come on in. Let me put these in some water and we can go." Dylan steps inside the door and waits as she finds a vase and rearranges the roses before moving them to the center of the small coffee table in front of her couch. She turns and walks back to where he is still standing, grabbing her purse on the way. As she reaches for the doorknob, Dylan puts his arm on hers stopping her. Brenda looks up at him confused. He reaches his hand to touch her face and leans forward slowly, kissing her softly, lingering as long as possible with his lips touching hers. After several seconds he pulls back. "I've been waiting to do that all day. I couldn't wait any longer." He grins cheekily. Brenda giggles. "Me either." They stare at each other for a long moment before Dylan clears his throat and holds out his arm. "Shall we, Ms. Walsh?" Brenda grins. "We shall." They walk out the door together laughing.

They stroll down the sidewalk towards the restaurant making small talk and even in comfortable silence at times. After the last 2 weeks of spending almost every evening together, they have fallen back into a very comfortable groove for them, almost as if they were never apart. Brenda bites her lip just thinking about it. She is falling even more in love with Dylan every day they spend together and she didn't think that was possible. She also isn't sure if that is a good thing. Even though he is saying and doing all the right things, Brenda is still scared that it will all fall apart again.

Dylan watches Brenda surreptitiously from the corner of his eye. He can tell she is deep in thought about something, not quite worried yet, but still concerned and he is pretty sure he knows why. Being with Brenda again for the last 2 weeks even as just "dating" rather than officially girlfriend and boyfriend has made Dylan wonder where his head has been for the last couple of years. He is just glad he got it screwed back on straight. Now he just has to convince Brenda that it is and that he plans to keep it that way. He doesn't plan to ever let her go again.

Brenda and Dylan walk back to her flat slowly hand in hand after a romantic candlelit dinner. "You want to come in? We could watch a movie or something?" Brenda asks him almost timidly as they reach her door.

"Yeah, I would like that." Dylan puts his hands in his pockets as he walks into the apartment, afraid if he doesn't he may grab her and drag her to the bedroom. He is trying his best to be patient but it's not easy, especially when he wants to be so close to her again, just like before. He knows whatever happens between them isn't just about sex; it never has been, but Dylan wants to make sure she remembers that as well.

"Why don't you pick out a movie? I think I am going to go change, get comfortable." She asks.

"Okay." Dylan watches her until she is out of the room, mesmerized even by her walk. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. _Be good Dylan. _He tells himself as he walks over to browse Brenda's movie collection. Finding a movie he wants, he sticks it in the player and sits on the couch waiting for Brenda to come back in. When she does, he almost wishes she hadn't. _She is not making being good easy! _Brenda walks in wearing a pair of thin lounging pants and a camisole top that barely comes to the top of the pants. As crazy as it sounds even to him, she is even sexier in this than she was in the little black dress.

She walks over to him and hands him folded material as he looks at her confused. "When you were here last weekend and helped me paint, you left your sweatpants here so I washed them for you. I thought you might want to change into something more comfortable for movie watching as well. Sorry, I don't have a shirt you can change into though. " She hesitates for a second thinking, "Although, I guess you could run upstairs if you wanted to change that too." Brenda knows she is rambling but just the idea of Dylan changing clothes in her bedroom or for that matter anywhere in her flat is making her a bit flustered. Dylan just grins at her, knowing why she is acting so nervous.

"That's okay. The pants will be fine. I have a shirt under my sweater." He brushes past her and walks towards her bedroom. This time, Brenda watches Dylan walking away. As soon as he closes the door she throws herself onto the couch and takes a deep breath trying to control her breathing. _This is Dylan, Brenda. Relax! Yeah right._

Within a minute or two Dylan walks back out in the sweatpants and a white wife beater and sits next to Brenda on the couch. "So what are we watching?" She asks him. Dylan simply picks the remote up from the table clicking play without saying a word. He watches her face as she sees Casablanca on the screen. She looks over and their eyes meet. Smiling softly, Dylan reaches over and takes her hand in his as the movie begins.

By halfway through the movie, Brenda's head is laying against Dylan's shoulder and his arms are wrapped around her as they stare, enthralled by the love story playing out on the TV, even though they have both seen the movie multiple times.

As the final credits begin to roll, Dylan looks down to see tears streaming down Brenda's face and smiles. He hugs her tight and places a light kiss to the top of her head. She looks up at him sheepishly. "Sorry. This movie always makes me cry." Dylan laughs softly. "As long as the movie is the only reason you are crying." Their eyes catch and Dylan slowly brings his hand to the back of her head, gently moving her towards him. Their eyes never leave each other until their lips meet in a sweet kiss. The kiss slowly deepens. Their tongues dual as Dylan runs his hands through her hair. Brenda wraps her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, causing him to groan. She leans backwards on the couch pulling Dylan with her until they are lying together side by side with their legs intertwined. Finally, having no choice but to come up for air, Dylan rests his forehead against hers. Breathing hard, he whispers her name softly, "Bren." Brenda reaches her hand to his face to caress his cheek and cuddles closer to him with a sigh of contentment. "Just hold me Dylan." She whispers back. He kisses her head softly and hugs her tight pulling her as close as he can get her. They fall asleep in each other's arms.


End file.
